Bills, Bobs, Brain Dead

My job is peppered with:

William = William
William = Will
William = Bill
William=(pronounced Vilhem)
Bill = Bill
Robert = Robert
Roberto=Robert
Robert = Rob
Robert = Bob
Robert=Bobby
Bob = Bob
Bob=Bobby

Of the names listed above MOST of them have coordinating last names.

ie: Robert Robinson*, Bill Billson* etc.

Really? Alliterations? Seriously?

I am struggling! Since I was brought in under temp auspices no one really did formal introductions after day 1. Now that I've been here for awhile I learn a name, or the shortened, of lengthened version and just pray that I can remember it in the hallway.

Oh and this is the type of company where everyone says 'good morning_________', 'good afternoon________', 'how are you__________?'

Jesus be ginkgo biloba!

*Really high security clearance = made up names....you get what I'm saying though.