Excitement

You can live off of excitement. Not fabricated glee, but true excitement can prompt you to overlook exhaustion, hunger, and pain. That is the type of excitement I have this morning. Today Sweets and I will be heading to ATL after work for a long weekend with some of our favorite folks.

I didn't need coffee this AM and had to consciously remind myself to eat. I think I slept 3-4 hours last night, but I'm an ready to go.

Many things change with age....I'm glad that the ability to get excited about having fun, isn't one of them.

Sit And Stare

I've been sitting in my cubicle staring at the vinyl/carpet covered partition for the last hour. I have a head cold and unfortunately any movement will shift the fluid in my head and either render me unable to breathe or dizzy. If I sit still, I am in perfect health.

Sitting and staring has given me much to think about.

1. I got the promotion. I start mid-January and I'm pretty sure that this new position will prompt the entire staff to quit. Reason? A lot of the staffmembers felt like they were being groomed for my position. I was chosen to the surprise of many. Now folks are miffed.

2. I think I got got. The only way I can maintain my promotion and everything else that i've been doing is based on the strength of the current team. Once the team goes, only a matter of time, my workload will intensify significantly.

3. Last night, it occurred to me that the amount of money it would take for Sweets to have dedicated studio time is actually significantly less than I thought it would be. To be honest it could be done almost immediately....except we'd have to cut back significantly on all of our trips. This doesn't even require thought. Just sacrifice. Putting that on the 2010 list.

4. My ears just popped and I can finally hear. Ummm....why does my breathing resemble Biggie's? #headcoldfail

5. I hate when Sweets and I are sick at the same time. I am skillfully able to take care of myself, when sick. I can take care of him when he's sick, but I do not have the time/energy/brain power to do both simultaneously. Jesus be a z-pack!

6. I don't have any close friends that are homesexual and/or a different ethnicity. Not one. I don't have an issue with either group, so it's surprising to me that as I take stock of my closest friends, the diversity isn't there. That's not very 2010 of me.

7. This morning I deferred my student loan payment....again....i think I've done at least 5 deferrals in the last 5 years. One day...I will start repaying in earnest. Today is not that day.

8. My H.R. lady was exasperated that so many employees had no clue what their salary/monthly deductions were etc. I was silent as she ranted. I know what my checks should be every 2 weeks. However, because I'm taxed within an inch of my life, I have no clue what I make on paper. Just the paltry amount I eventually take home.

9. I am growing weary of the amount of time that passes between when I see a movie in the theatre and when I can watch it at home. Bootlegging aside. I don't understand why there isn't a virtual system that can scan my movie ticket stub and allow me to rewatch a movie at home days after I watched it in the theatre. Sherlock Holmes is prompting this rant-BTW.

10. Just saw an ad for a Mariah Carey tour and I shuddered. Going to a MC show around the Music Box era would have been fab. Right now I can't remember the last time I saw her perform and didn't gag. The notes aren't the same. The awkward stage presence is painful. I'm not spending good money to hear her skip the high notes. Nothing annoys me more than when an artist has you fall in love with a song, only to be incapable of duplicating its awesomeness in a live show.

Staring Continues.....one more hour to go

Ramblings: Whirlwind

1. Had to be at work at 8am. Sent in an email at 7am saying I was going to be late.
Q: How early is too early?

2. The email only made it to the drafts folder and never got sent. I got here at 8:15 and my manager got in at 8:50am. Email.....deleted.
Q: Can I put 8 on my timesheet?

3. Our receptionist worked 2 hours today and then kicked off her vacation until Jan. 4. She showed me how to use the postage machine in the same way that Jesus discussed the commandments with Moses.
Q: Why did she think it was that serious?

4. One of our employees has to be on the tail end of 80 and he spent the AM talking about his 1910-1920 era artists on his ipod and the various old stations on Si.rius. I turned down my Blackberry media player which was streaming FM radio for me to hear his tirade.
Q: What is wrong with this picture???

5. The lady that operates the temp agency I'm contracted through is good friends with my supervisor. She drove 2 hours north to drop off a holiday present for me AND my check(early), visited with my supervisor for a second and bounced. Job 1 notified me that they mailed a check yesterday(maybe). Only after one of the employees had an emotional breakdown.
Q: (sigh) I don't even have a question.

6. I killed my interview today for the job 2 promotion....made her tear up....no seriously, she teared up. More on that later.

7. I have a distinct feeling that everything is going to go left while I'm planning a path to the right. Not in a bad way. We'll see how things shake out.

Over It.............

I'm officially over it. I just. I can't. Let me give you a breakdown.

1. I just received a payroll update from Job 1, not saying that we're getting paid early due to the holidays, but that there will only be one check issued in December. The last check issued was December 7. ***Blinking***

2. Yesterday....4 days before Christmas, I realize I don't know what either of my Secret Santa recipients really want. So sweets calls the recipient in his family and asks him what he'd fancy for Christmas.


Sweets: "What do you want?"
Recipient: "I don't really get gifts, it's been a couple of years."
Sweets: (pause) "soooo.....what do you want?"
Recipient: "I don't really know"
Dani(in my mind): "What in the hell do you mean you don't know what you want???? I don't understand that answer."

Tangent/Rant Alert!!

A) the fact that we're doing secret santa, isn't a secret. Soooo you should already be thinking about what you'd like as a gift.

B) if someone walked up to you right now and said I have $50 with your name on it, are you telling me you don't know what you'd like? B*tch please. Excuse my language. But seriously, I have a running list in my mind that I'd like at all price points. I do mean all price points $10-$10,000. Not because I'm greedy, but because I'm not yet living as fabulously as I strive to live. So any opportunity to knock something off my gift/bill list I'm allllllll about that.

C) People who have no style are as hard to shop for as people who have a specific style. My sister is Express all day, every day. Me? I'm Ann Taylor. We both will work the hell out of Target. Right there. You have a visual, you know what I'm talking about. Sweets, is a love child of PacSun/Zara/Banana/Urban Outfitters...All day. If Mr. Rogers had a skateboarding son that lived in Cali and liked Johnny Gill he would be it. The style might be hard to visualize, but it's there and it gives me a lot to work with. This recipient...not one specific style point. So clothing giftcards/shoes are out!

D) If I don't know your last name, stop trying to make me work. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

TANGENT OVER

2 (cont). My other Secret Santa....is my Uncle. He is...was...my fave. He's a man's man and so he doesn't want for much. I had decided to get him some drivers from our store. They looked like him and it would be an easy (read: inexpensive) gift for him. My aunt decided on Monday....four days before Christmas....to issue the wishlist of all of the Secret Santa participants. Everyone listed 3 things. My uncle listed one. His wish: 4-wheel center.caps for a 1989.c230.Benz.

***BLINKING***

3. I've got it. This holiday season is a microcosm of 2009. This year was rough. There were plenty of highs, but my goodness....the lows were incredibly low. I'm so over the things of 2009 and have tons of anticipation for what will be different (starting with my mentality) in 2010.

Well.....I'm two very generic giftcards away from getting past this trying season. Wait....can I afford two generic giftcards??? Le Sigh. Come on... New Year.

By Jove They've Got It

As my dear sis can attest, we've spent every single Christmas Eve doing this......




I'm going to miss her this year. This is our first Christmas apart.

The "Not"

Over the last few days I've taken a look at how Christmas 2009 has been going...*pause*....how 2009 has been going and I think that instead of Goals for 2010, I'm going to list what is not going to happen in 2010. Confused?

1. Sweets and I will not have retail jobs during the 2010 holiday season. I'd like for us to experience 'down time' for the holidays.

2. We will not spend 2010 living in West Palm Beach....


The rest of the list will post by New Yrs.......

Is It Just Me?

I have not gotten any Christmas gifts.

I have not looked/planned for any Christmas gifts.

I actually only have a confirmation on one of the 2 people that I have for Secret Santa.

I'm pretty sure that Sweets and I agreed on no gifts months ago and I have not even plotted on a secret rule-breaking gift.

I have not thought of/purchased/budgeted for a Christmas gift for my parents or grandparents.

I haven't even looked for cards.

I guess because I'm working in some form or fashion right up until New Yrs Eve, Christmas has completely snuck up on me. I don't have a plan and I'm actually not too worried about it. The most that I plan on doing for Christmas is going to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and going to see "Sherlock Holmes" with Bakima on or around Christmas Day. That's It.

Hmmm....I don't know what has happened to me, but I don't think that I like it.

Mr. Collins: Challenge

Upon hearing my relocation plans a good friend of mine challenged me to make a plan that is as beneficial for the short-term resolution of PHYSICALLY being in a better place, as it is for the long-term resolution of finding a fullfilling career.

I believe he labelled me: "An extraordinary woman with extra-mediocre plans."

Well Damn!

So the challenge entails me applying for one job each day (that match with my qualifications), regardless of location and not setting a limitation on my ultimate destination/career path.

Challenge on!

*Baby By Me*

I don't do casual relationships. I have had a firm policy that I don't spend time with someone if I can't see myself enjoying for them for an eternity. Now if during the course of the relationships our compatibility wanes, then we go our separate ways.

With that being said, I love baby pics. Not-fresh from the womb/may need to be cooked a bit longer/is that a child or are there gills-type pics, but the ones when you either get cute or you don't. Why do I love pics? Research. If I'm going to be a zygote carrier I'd like some reassurance that the seedling is a cutie pie.

Yes, I completely like to make sure that we have similar goals and compatibility in other areas, but please believe if I'm going to be intimately acquainted with the twins poly & ester and their half-sister lycra for 9 months, I want cute (and healthy of course).

Got into Sweet's photos recently and ummm......


Check that off my list...we are in business :-)

(Ahem) Outskirts Of Smithville

Two weeks ago, Mr. Smith(mine) and I spent a wonderful amount of time chatting with the Smiths and Bakimas about life, love, relationships, etc. At one point Senior Mr. Smith (Patti's Hubby) expressed that he didn't want Junior Mr. Smith to feel 'pressured' by all of the wedding/marriage talk.

::Giggles::

We had to clarify that we have been having 'the marriage convo' since we met. I completely appreciated Sr. Smith looking out for Sweets, but I wasn't sure why he thought it was necessary. They are so shockingly similar that I would've thought that he'd assume they had the same 'gung ho-ness' about marriage. Sweets astutely suggested that the hesitation, in general, may have had something to do with our age difference.

Ah! Bingo!

So in our journey to Smithville our age difference or more so the fact that there is an age difference (5 yrs, 10 mos. to be exact) has popped up a time or two before. Makes me giggle that while my dear sis is 4 yrs and 7 months younger than her fiancee, the age difference is completely acceptable. Booo....

In our quest to Smithville, I'm sure the age difference will surface right up until we have 'cupcakes'(little ppl). I don't pretend to think that everything will be roses and gumdrops, but I think as long as we focus on accomplishing our goals and strengthening our relationship everything else will fall by the wayside. Besides, when we first met only one of us had a marriage/family plan....twasn't I.

Technical Difficulties

I promised pics of Ash and Brew's Dancin For Jesus and it's taking me longer than anticipated. I guess I'll work that out over the weekend :)

Coming Into Your Own

When you're a child you see the world differently. Your parents and teachers are not human, they are some special subcategory titled 'adult.' You aren't really sure what 'adult' entails, but throughout the course of your childhood you become captivated with the concept of adulthood. Somewhere in the process you begin to realize and see the humanness in the adults that reared you through your childhood.

That's where this begins.

Ok...So Tuesday's post was a doozy. Yep, I'm sure you remember me posting this not too long ago. So the about-face may have thrown you for a loop.

As the woman living it, I was definitely thrown. But I've taken some time to break it all down and here is the story....the backstory...and where we go from here.

I'm listening to my mother rant for a hour about where I am in my life and where I could be. Effectively, she was disappointed that after 27 years of living, I had yet to actually live. The source of the rant seemed to be tied to her belief that I was apathetic about my situation.

Summary: Went away to school, moved home 5 years ago, started a promising job 4 years ago, have been through hell and back...and a lawsuit, with said job, still in financial uncertainty because of everything with said job. This year the lawsuit was settled and by Summer 2010 will be completely over. Breakdown: I was named in the suit and stood to lose everything I had/didn't have...why? Because I went to work. No seriously....apparently another company thought had some ownership in the company that employs me, so when they sued the company they sued me too....personally. (The suit is public record- I can't really say much more than....google it). Fastwforward, I'm left trying to figure out my next step at this point.

Effectively, her rant was a 'tough love' stance that was supposed to kick-start me into homeownership, pursuing dreams, living life, having something to show for my 27 years on this earth.

Now let me say this....I do not for one moment doubt that my mom said what she said out of love. I do however realize that Moms aren't always right. They are women finding their own way all the while hoping that what they instilled in their children is enough to help them.

The reason I was upset...was the presentation. It wasn't a conversation. A conversation would have revealed that everything that she pointed out was something that I felt, cried about, prayed about, made a decision about, made a resolution about, set new goals about.....effectively, she was 2 months late to the pity party that I had planned, executed, cleaned up after, sent out thank you cards for and moved on from. Mom....seriously....who is happy about living at home? Can I recognize the blessing? Yes! Am I glad that I didn't have any property/posessions when the lawsuit rolled around? Absolutely! Do I realize that it is time to move on? (EMPHATICALLY) YESSSS!!!!

With me, my mom has always waited and watched. She lets her emotions build up and then she releases them if she doesn't see a change. Her timing...always catastrophic. Her intent....always loving. The result....a trainwreck. You know who does the same thing? (Hand Raised) At one point in her rant she said: "You knew I was upset with you." No....actually I didn't. You expected me to read your mind and be ready for this lecture. Wow... how many times have I done the same thing???

She is different with her three kids based on our personalities. With my sister, they talk multiple times in a day. It's truly a friendship there-She (both of them) needs that. With my brother, he's on a tight leash. If she thinks he might possibly be going right she is standing right on his neck, until he goes left-He needs that. With me...our similarities are frightening. Until you take into account my dad. I have just enough of the both of them in me, to personify why they stopped getting along. I smile as I type that. I drive my mother crazy! When she pries in my life, I shut down, until she backs up. When she is indifferent, I chastise her for not caring. We are at our best, when we are apart. When we are together we rarely converse. Not that we don't talk. We just don't talk about the important things.

The lesson....the best thing I've ever learned-but you already knew that.

Getting through life relationships requires a lot of things, but the ability to communicate is paramount. What I've learned through everything has less to do with what she said and more to do with how she said it. Note to self....do better, be different (common theme in this blog).

Oh...one more thing....this is the second time that she's caught me off guard with one of her rants....there won't be a third. I love, appreciate, and cherish my mom, but come 2010 I will be elsewhere living the life I've been working on. Everything leading up to this point has been a piece of a foundation. Time to build up.

Oh...but I decided that 2 months ago, when I stopped to take stock of myself. The plan is in motion. I guess I assumed she'd know that.

Back Blogging

Ok....So if you follow this blog you may notice that from time to time the posts just...

STOP

This happens for a couple of reasons, but usually I'm so busy living life that I don't actually get enough time to blog about it. Yes, that is usually a cop out. I'm going to go with Jam being the person to call me out on that. However, that was the case over the past week-seriously.

I back-blogged because all of the things that happened were important enough for you to get caught up on. Back-Blog? I did a week of posts...today....about last week and the beginning of this week.

Now...yesterday's post. Ummm....I tend to blog at work and that one still really bothers me, so I'm doing it in segments and will continue shortly.

Thanks for your patience.

One of those Days......

Monday was really hard. I've been trying to go over in my head how best to put this out there, but I haven't been able to really find a way. I guess that means to just go at it head on.

So Monday night I left work and decided to grab something to eat on the way home. As usual, I called Brew, spoke to Ash, called my mom....the usual.

I got to the parking lot of Chipotle and my mom called me back.

The conversation went something like this:

Dani: "Hey mom...I was calling earlier to see how your day was going."
Mom: "It was fine....(pause)"
Dani: (Busy parking didn't focus on the pause)
Mom: "Dani...You know... I don't like how you are living your life. I'm disappointed with your lack of achievements and you need to get it together."
Dani: "Whaaa??"
Mom: (One solid hour of beration....)


Devestated would be a mild understatement....Let's just say...I never made it out of the car....

Weekend Recap-Monday On Hold

So on Sunday....Eric, Ash, and I checked out the Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues. It was a pleasant experience (although someone needed to stop playing with the AC).

I didn't know what to expect, but ended up really enjoying myself. Now there was a portion of the set in which they asked for anyone in the audience who had a birthday to come up on stage.

I will just pause here.....I can't upload the video right now from work but check back on Thursday and the video will be here.

Can't wait to share it!

Weekend Recap-Sunday Edition

What we did on Saturday....

We woke up and took a walk in the park right outside of the George/Shea apt.


Does anyone know why your legs itch when you work out? That was the question of the morning.

Anywho then we got gussied up and went to see.....



Ok....so lets chat about this movie.



1. The 11:15am Saturday morning show.....PACKED with kids......I was actually glad about that one. (reason #2)

2. I've heard the controversy about the movie etc. However, there was nothing like looking at little kids of EVERY possible ethnicity clutching Princess Tianna dolls. They were so happy! It gave me hope for my unborn little people.

3. The beginning of the movie had me genuinely worried. I didn't know where it was going and I didn't immediately love the storyline.

4. I saw that Tianna's mom was a maid...immediately I got a little prickly....I quickly paused and thought about all of Disney's Princesses. Most of them started out as someone's help-this was no different. (Down Howard U....Down!)

5. By the end of the movie I was in love. Truly. I really and truly LOVED the movie.



The rest of the day we spent....umm....on the couch...LOL relaxing! Oh and the bday girl talked me and Steve(her fiancee)into a Turkish restaurant (I did a thorough menu inspection before I went). My Lamb sautee was "the bees knees!"

Birthday Weekend Recap- Saturday Edition

See this face????

This is my dear sis at her desk, not working. I drove up to Orlando Friday evening to spend my sister's bday with her. The plan was for me to meet her at her office. Once I got there she held me captive in her office for a hour. What I got out of it was a parking ticket...and this fcae. LOL!

This birthday was especially important to me because next year this time Madam George will be Madam Shea (tear!) so it was fun to lounge around and do nothing. We didn't have much of a plan....as usual that seemed to work out the best.

After I picked up my face after I saw my parking ticket we went to dinner and then ended up on the couch watching 'The Other Boleyn Girl'

Ummm.....why had I not seen that movie before?????? It was sooooooo good! But lets just say we had to pause it a few times and I needed to let Ash know that if she ever....ok then. It was a lot of sisterhood gone wrong in that movie.

When was the last time we lounged around doing nothing???? hmm....Can't remember....feels great!

It's Her Birthday

Today is my sister's bday! So I'm going to Orlando for the weekend! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Decorations From Smithville

Last weekend we went to ATL to spend the weekend with our faves/go a fab wedding. The wedding rocked! More importantly we got to decorate the tree with the Smiths!

The boys were hard at work :)
Sweets is so sexy

Jase is making sure the Phirst Pham is represented

Bakari is reviewing the finished product :)

Madam Smith, Madam Toney our guys rock!

Felicity

A Story in pics....

The downfall of working in retail.....you obsess until you own.

Thanks Sweets!

Blah...

Today is one of those sad, complicated days....One of those days in which you know exactly how you feel...."Sad"...but you don't have a reason to feel that way. The story of my life I suppose.

Ramblings....

1. I'm not sure if people are surprised that I'm still at the office(2-week temp job going on 4 months) or if they know something that I don't know....but the greetings have gotten a wee bit less friendly. As if they know something I don't know....hmmm....I've been fired a time or two before....I don't exactly get that same feeling. Maybe everyone's busy....or maybe I should start taking down personal effects.

2. I don't mind doing mindless work (read: pretending to do mindless work) and collecting a check for it, if there isn't anything else that I need to be doing. Lately, I've either had holiday/trip planning, other jobs, etc. on my mind and sitting in a cube for 5 hours a day, when I could be knocking those things out....muy frustrating.

3. I may be up for a promotion. My promotion would change my work dynamic with Sweets. Right now we are co-workers, but if things were to change...I'd be his manager. Now umm....if I put the shoe on the other foot, I wouldn't take the change well. I can't pretend to not take things personally. A stern work related comment/gesture will come back up @ home. Don't judge me, I don't claim to be perfect. So I can only imagine that gender roles aside, things will be different for us, if this happens. I'll keep you posted.

4. I feel like wedding registries are as much of a reflection of the couple as all of the other pieces of the wedding. If you make $xxx,xxx a year and you're registered at Claire's for your bridal shower....Moving on.....

Something New

It's 38 degrees. It is what the temperature SHOULD be in December. I know that when I get back to FL tomorrow it will be 10,000 degrees.

Displeased is an understatement.

After discussing it with the Smiths and Bakima (Naima and Bakari) I think the plan for Christmas 2010 will be to seek, find, and enjoy snow.

Huh?

Winter resort vacation

Yep...let the planning begin.

Wedding....

We are in Atlanta for Sweet's uncle's wedding. It's at the Four Seasons and is black tie, both of which have connotations of grandeur. However, there is something about this wedding....something I can't quite put my finger on. Something that lets me know that I'll have much to show you and even more to tell you.

The romantic and optimist in me hopes that it is glorious and goes off without a hitch. The blogger in me hopes that the tomfoolery will shine forth like a beacon.

Let the games begin.....

You Can Find Me In The............

We're baaaaaccck!!!!!! This is a quick trip, Sweets and I have a wedding to attend. How & Ever mark your calendars. We will be back for New Yrs :)

MOH Musings: Dresses

Last week's task was dress shopping and it went incredibly well. Three dresses in mis hermana found her "it" dress and IT was fab! Now a couple of things stood out to me on this trip.

#1: My mother and 2 of the BM's were in tears by the time the first dress was zipped up. I wasn't ready....stubbed my toe and everything I could not produce one tear. I just dutifully handed out tissues. Why were we crying? I need to hire a crying squad for my dress fitting.

#2: I'm becoming more of my mother's child and have little to no tolerance for bad service.

-This was my second time at this bridal shop. The first was when we went BM dress shopping with Madam Smith. Both times I experienced deplorable service. Look ladies. Blame TLC...when I go to a shop I want Kleinfields service. I do not want to pushy sales people or unattentiveness. I am emotionally on edge and the dresses are sized bigger than my normal size so I'm already on "Ready, Set, and GO!" Our lady wreaked of Newports and brown liquor. Oh for shame! Now, I am a card-carrying lover of chocolate-toned intoxicants. How & Ever not when I'm in bridal mode! Also, this woman clearly was reading the book "Multi-tasking for Dummies" but got distracted. She was always gone at the wrong times and never there at the right ones. Like when we said, "we'll take this dress." She was ghost!
-The one saving grace was this gem of a specialist that picked these amazing accessories that set the dress off! Oooo I'm sending Taryn a thank you card! The other one, Boozie McStankerson, got a scathing comment card.

#3: One of the BM's cornered me to talk about the shower. The conversation went something like this....

BM: Were you planning on having an Orlando shower or a local shower?
Dani(in my mind): Did I shower today?
Dani Aloud: Ummm....not...sure
BM: Well....we were thinking....(diatribe)
Dani(in my mind): Did I transfer that money over to my other account? Hmm my front tire looks like it needs air, I'll call Sweets. I need to get packed for my trip this weekend. I wonder what Ash and I will do for her bday next weekend.
BM: (diatribe comes to a close) So...just think about it and let me know
Dani Aloud: will do!

Ok seriously....the wedding is 10/16/10. I can't....I...I feel like I need to give someone my resume and let them know that I'm not that chick. More importantly I'm not that MOH. I've only maintained a modicum of sanity thus far because I maintain this mantra: "Do Not Be More Involved Than The Principle Person." Which means if the bride hasn't thought about it, I haven't thought about it. Yes, go ahead and scratch me off your MOH list, I'll wait :) To me a MOH's job is to keep the bride happy.

#4: Hence the title....These ladies are really really really invested in Ash's happiness. Which is the goal, but I'm just saying. I foresee a Battle Royale showdown of best friend-dom happening in 5-4-3-2....Yep...I'll play ref.

MOH Out....

Oh yes, I need to standardize my disclaimer on these MOH posts....
Ladies, if you're reading. I mean 99% of this in jest. Seriously. Ok...98.5%

Pull Up

My co-worker excitedly chatted about her family trip to Busch Gardens over the Bird day holiday. Since the office was closed on Thursday and Friday, she was supposed to be taking the entire week off along with the beginning of the following week. So it was peculiar when we walked in the day before Bird Day and she was sitting at her desk, typing away.

She tends to be a bit chatty so no one wanted to start what could prove to be a really long conversation. We all just figured that we'd just wait for some poor, unsuspecting soul to inquire.

There is always one.

He came around the corner with a smile on his face and happiness in his heart. He stopped at her cubicle and said:

Poor Man: "Hey Dorothy! I thought you were supposed to be in Tampa on vacation."
Dorothy: "I was"
PM: "Oh, why are you back so soon?"
Dorothy: "It was packed"
PM: "Oh, well it's usually packed during the holidays"
Dorothy: "Yes"
PM: "So why are you here"
Dorothy: "I'm working. Why are you here? Clearly you're not"
PM: (silence)

Sir....pull up. Clearly this isn't the conversation for you.

Through a Mother's Eyes

I overheard my mom talking about me to a friend of hers. Of course, my nosey self honed right in on the conversation and proceeded to listen to it in its entirety.

It's different when your mother talked about you to one of her friends, when you were little and she knew you're listening.

"Hmmm Jennie makes her bed every day? She needs to spend more time with her friend Dani, maybe that will rub off."

This conversation was something different. She was talking about my time in undergrad and the woman I had become. She was talking about my work struggles and the life I was leading. She was proud of me. Not that I was surprised per se. All of it I had heard before, most of it I thought was obligatory mother banter. This was different.

I often think about how as a kid my mom was a just a mom. She didn't necessarily register as an actual individual. I didn't usually look at her as a woman making it in the world. She was in the mom category. Likewise, she didn't always look at me as a little person, I was her daughter. I was her little person. As I get older the parameters are changing rapidly. I still see my mom as a woman who kicks butt, takes names, and yet always makes things work. I do, however, see her missteps and the things that she struggles with. She's imperfectly perfect.

In one conversation I wasn't listening to her as a daughter listens to their mother, but as an adult listens to an older adult. I wonder if she knew how proud I was of her?

I hope that I'll always give her something to be proud about.