I get caught up sometimes in the other people's "grass" and the shade of green "on the other side." There are times when just trying to get from point A to point B in my life takes 10 steps, when everyone else can do it in 2.
I reached a breaking point early last year and every single thing in my life that I thought was sure, solid, and important crumbled. I made peace with the ruins. I literally sat in the remnants of my mediocre life achievements, built on a sandy foundation and made peace with that being the best that I was going to get.
I was content with the fact that things would always just be harder. I was content with the fact that I would always just be happy with what was in front of me.
All I could think of was my mom saying: "you always get to great and stop short." I finally got to a point where I asked myself: "is good really that bad?"
Then everything changed.
No disrespect to anyone or anything in my past (I needed every single thing to be able to appreciate my present), but let me be clear...Settling for good, when you can have great will not bring you happiness. You'll always want more. You'll always feel like you deserve more.
I hit the one year mark of my move recently and I'm still on cloud 9. There is, however, something that I'm more proud of and that I want to mention.
Today, I want to thank the friend who was honest enough, a few years ago, to hurt my feelings and tell me that I was better than my reality. I'd like to thank him for saying the same thing again a few years later, which again hurt my feelings. Basically, I'd like to thank him for over ten years of friendship and for always pushing me when I couldn't push myself.
Most importantly, I'd like to thank him for showing me that things don't always have to be difficult for me, that there is a lovely shade of green on both sides, and that "great" takes time, but will always surpass "good."
LC...AG..Ansel, the last year with you has been amazing. Thank you & I truly love you.
P.S. I promised a reader that I would explain why I call today our noniversary. I told Ansel 11 months ago that I was tired of celebrating temporary milestones as I had done in previous relationships. He said he felt the same way. So... until we make this permanent, I consider it a noniversary. :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thus It Begins....
Mom: "I heard that you told your sister to drink bottled water to avoid the pregnancy outbreak hitting her friends and in-laws."
Me: "Yea...just trying to help her out."
Mom: "(Ha, Ha) I agree."
Me: "I should probably do the same since everyone in my office is seemingly pregnant"
Mom: "(Straight Face)As it should be, it's time"
Me: (Silence)
Me: "Yea...just trying to help her out."
Mom: "(Ha, Ha) I agree."
Me: "I should probably do the same since everyone in my office is seemingly pregnant"
Mom: "(Straight Face)As it should be, it's time"
Me: (Silence)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Went to make dinner last night....
1. Forgot that I was out of cooking oil, onions and carrots. I needed all three for my meal.
2. After thinking of a new recipe, I put the meat on the stove. Five minutes later a horrible smell sent me rushing to the kitchen only to face the pot handle starting to melt.
3. After cleaning that up and airing out the kitchen, I put some cinnamon on the stove to help with the stench of melted plastic. I go to open the rest of the windows in the apartment and I hear the cinnamon boiling over onto the stove top.
4. Giving up on my hopes of a real meal happening tonight, I go to pour myself some cereal only to find no bowls or mugs in the cupboard.
REALLY?????????
1. Forgot that I was out of cooking oil, onions and carrots. I needed all three for my meal.
2. After thinking of a new recipe, I put the meat on the stove. Five minutes later a horrible smell sent me rushing to the kitchen only to face the pot handle starting to melt.
3. After cleaning that up and airing out the kitchen, I put some cinnamon on the stove to help with the stench of melted plastic. I go to open the rest of the windows in the apartment and I hear the cinnamon boiling over onto the stove top.
4. Giving up on my hopes of a real meal happening tonight, I go to pour myself some cereal only to find no bowls or mugs in the cupboard.
REALLY?????????
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The How...
There is something that excites me when I'm a part of a planning meeting. It's been that way since I was in middle school. I love taking something and giving ideas on how to make it better. Vision to inception.
I falter terribly when it comes to implementation. So much so, that I find myself trying to sit on certain ideas just to avoid the inevitable, "that's a great idea...why don't you do it?"
(play sad horn music here)
I had this conversation with a mentor of mine and he laughed and said "you need to find something that will allow you to be a strategist."
So that's what I'm looking for....allow me to give you ideas on how to better communicate.
I'm typing this instead of contributing this fantastic idea for the corporate newsletter. Why? Because I do not want to be the individual that actually has to make it happen. How do I know it's fantastic? The excited feeling that I'm trying to ignore has never been wrong.
I falter terribly when it comes to implementation. So much so, that I find myself trying to sit on certain ideas just to avoid the inevitable, "that's a great idea...why don't you do it?"
(play sad horn music here)
I had this conversation with a mentor of mine and he laughed and said "you need to find something that will allow you to be a strategist."
So that's what I'm looking for....allow me to give you ideas on how to better communicate.
I'm typing this instead of contributing this fantastic idea for the corporate newsletter. Why? Because I do not want to be the individual that actually has to make it happen. How do I know it's fantastic? The excited feeling that I'm trying to ignore has never been wrong.
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