Cityplace--A faux downtown district in West Palm Beach...the entire 'district' actually consists of one street.
Walking through Cityplace, which despite its petite-ness, is still rather nice I noticed that the police officers were posted outside of starbucks--drinking coffee, outside of the fountain--watching the light show, and outside of Publix(grocery store)--keeping the young negroes on the dark, desolate portion of the street away from the 'other' folks.
Meanwhile, I repeated the 23 Psalm no less than 23 times trying to manage my car around the deathtrap that is the parking garage, then I hoped that the maserati, rolls royce, '67 chevy, '08 camry and the '81 dodge caravan(sigh yea welcome to West Palm Beach) didn't kill me while trying to cross the street, then I made sure to clutch my purse when the hordes of anglo youth didn't try to make off with my useless bankcard, in what would ultimately be titled a 'youthful prank.'
What are the police protecting me from?
At Cityplace I noticed that there were bouncers were standing outside of one of the nightclubs. I looked at the docket and the club nights were every night, BUT Sunday.....It was Sunday....
Who are you 'bouncing'?
I watched the Valet porters play something that resembled freeze tag in the empty parking spaces that lined the street...hmmm so one could ask....if I see a spot that I can put my own car in and its right next to the spot that you would put my car in if I valeted then why would I give you $8?
So who in the hell is valeting?
Later that day I call my home phone carrier to pay a bill, they ask me to verify the last 4 digits of the social of whoever's name is on the account....
-Dani: Is the account under G-Money or M-dot's name?
-Carrier: We can't confirm that information
-Dani: Well I only have the social number for M-Dot
-Carrier: That's not the information that matches what we have on file
-Dani: Ok well, I don't want ANY account information I just want to pay a bill
-Carrier: We need to verify your information before we can access the account to tell you how much to pay.
-Dani: I know how much to pay I just want to pay it
-Carrier: We need the social security number of whoever's name is on the account to protect your account and maintain safety of the account.
-Dani: Protect me from what...... someone paying a bill for me?
-Carrier: (Silence)
What in the hell is the point of that?
I've now worked up an appetite I go to the grocery store to buy bagels. The regular, white, carb-friendly bagels are in my left hand. The wholesome, whole wheat, health-rific bagels are in my right....Looking at the nutritional content............(SIGH)
Carb-heavy bagels have less calories, fat, and sodium.
(sigh)---I just buy yogurt
Finally, I head to the gym...there are bottles of cleaner throughout the gym its common courtesy for you to wipe down your machine once you finish your workout.
There is a new guy that has started to come in during my work out session, I call him sweatyMcnasterson....He literally sheds the equivalent of what I drink in a day in his 30 min on the cardio machine. He finishes his workout....Gets off the machine, dripping, and leaves, no cleaning.
The next day the same thing....the third day.....I end my work out 5 minutes early, walk over to the cleaning solution...look directly at him, look at the solution....I take the solution over to the machine I'm on...Look back at him....Look back at my machine...I look back at him and simultaneously I spray down my machine....I continue to look at him as I put the bottle back.
Sir simpleson....gets off his machine and leaves....without cleaning it.
I hope that the carb-heavy bagel attacks him in the garages of cityplace, in front of a bouncer, and a valet dude runs him over trying to tag his co-worker. Hmm...hopefully whoever calls 911 to report the bagel attack won't have the last 4-digits of their social and then the call won't be completed.
I'm done.
Check!
