Nothing to Something

My birthday weekend was wonderful! LC got in Thursday night and we went right from the train station to dinner, kicking off what was 3 days of "What do you want to do?" with the responses ranging from "Nothing" to "Lets walk over there and see what's happening."

It was a weekend that was short on plans but long on hilarity and laziness.

The only downside was watching him leave this morning. The goodbyes are getting infinitely harder.

Bday Eve

I'm exhausted...I feel like i'm alllllllwwwaaaayyyysss exhausted. The best thing about my bday tomorrow is that I'm not going to work.

Jesus be a pillow.

My Way

I don't consider myself a brat or even particularly spoiled. However, I am starting to realize that I do not like to be told "no" nor do I want to be corrected. So maybe I am a brat, spoiled, and self-righteous.





I can't even believe I typed that.





Seriously, in my mind, I'm usually right. I hate admitting that I am wrong and even when wrong, I will try my best to shade my wrongness as a misunderstanding that eventually leads back to me being right.





"See you clearly misinterpreted what I was saying. I was saying what you said but in my own way."





A mess.





I also hate being late on something.





"Did you know that such-and-such did the whatcha-ma-jig?"





My usual response: "Yes, but it really was a copy cat of the original such-and-such who mastered the whatcha-ma-jig in 1972."





Smug bastard I am. Does it make me more smug and intolerable to blog about my belief in my rightness? Perhaps.

Heavy

My co-worker and her partner of 20 years left for their Australian vacation last week. Upon arrival, they rented a vehicle and while heading to their first destination got into a car accident. My co-worker was severly injured. Her partner died instantly.

Really?

I've seen the mercy and favor of God time after time. I've also seen tests, burdens, and struggles that render me speechless.

I don't question my after life. I'm 100% certain about how my story will end, but while I don't doubt heaven once I leave this earth. I question my ability to make it through hell while I'm here.

History in Print

My blog spans 2.75 relationships. The .75 covers the breakup that got me to start writing in the first place.

What I wrote then is all true, but can I be honest?

It's almost painful to read. I despise being wrong about things and nothing can be more wrong than "he's the man of my dreams" and then a post 3 months later with a new man.

I could delete those posts, but they are a part of what got me to this point. I could also start a whole new blog. Hmm...that idea is tempting to me for a myriad of reasons, most importantly, because there are things that I don't say here because too many of the people I want to blog about are actual readers.

Truth be told either option feels more political than artistic and so I've done neither. I am, however, often thinking about both.

Actually....now that I'm at the end of this post...I think I've figured out which direction I'm going in.

Stay Tuned.

Disarray

I woke up and took a look at my room, living room, and kitchen and the reality of my last few weeks hit me hard. I need to reset. The thing I haven't quite mastered is traveling every weekend, without letting my home base suffer.

Thankfully, my biggest issue is that things aren't where they're supposed to be. I would have made today a sick day if anything was actually "nasty."

When was the last time I went grocery shopping? When was the last time I did some exercise?

I honestly cannot answer either question.

LC and I determined that this weekend would be our "off" weekend, which basically means we remain in our respective city. I was quite geared up to fight that decision and head to DC anyway, but waking up to three partially unpacked weekend bags and just enough creamer for one cup of coffee has calmed me down a bit.