I don't usually do this....

I don't usually do pop culture commentary simply because my love for inane, entertainment "news" (for lack of a better word) is pretty sacred. However, the uproar about Khl.oe Kar.dashian's "marriage" to La.mar Od.om following their one-month courtship, leaves me with a question....

When did YOU know? Let me explain....

Here is how I operate. I don't do casual dating. I'm way too emotional and have way too many intricacies to invest time in someone who isn't going to make it. So if we are dating, then assume that I could potentially see myself spending my life with you. At whatever point I think that we aren't going to work out in the long-run then we break up.

What is the tie-in?

I don't believe that the Kar.dashians operate in a real world so don't think that I'm directly making a statement abt Kh.loe's marriage. However, it has taken me less than a month to have the "I could spend my life with this person" thought.

From what I can tell most of my readers are in a relationship, engaged, married, cut-buddies, or happily single. So this should be interesting.

How long did it take for you to get a "forever" feeling about your significant other?

Thoughts of a MOH

I'm writing a more thoughtful, heartfelt piece on my sentiments about my podmate's wedding and the journey of a maid of honor. However, I did want to at least post a summary today of what the process has been like for me, thus far.



The single thought that I've maintained since May 21, 2008 is:



"Please Lord, do not let me suck."



Ah...I'm sure you thought it would be something deep...nope...that's it. The summation of my every action since last may is linked to that one thought.

I realized that I think I feel more strongly about my podmate having a "perfect" wedding, in her eyes, more than she might actually want for herself. Having said that I think that this entire experience has been more educational than anything else.

I'll have more to share in the coming days......

Why Don't You Just Know????

Time after time I watch interviews in which prominent business women express the same sentiment about what they want from their men. The statement that resounds is: "I make all of the decisions when I'm at work and when I come home I just want someone that can take the lead."

Now while, I won't even pretend to be in the league with these women (yet) I often times have the exact same feeling. I spend all day working too hard, making too many decisions, and schlepping the stress thrown on my shoulders. So when I'm in my down time I don't want to think. I can clearly tell you what I don't want to do...but I'm hard-pressed to plan what I do want to do.

I want you to know what I want without me having to tell you. Don't even get me started on my 'needs' that is in a whole other category.

Case in point, I'm getting sick. I can feel it. My neck is aching. I'm tired after standing for more than 15 minutes. When I'm in bed I'm thinking about being deeper in the covers. When I'm out of bed I'm plotting on how I can get through activities just to be able to crawl back in the bed.

When I get sick, it's cataclysmic. There is no casual sickness. I do drama full-out. Walking pneumonia, mono, strep...you name it. "Go hard or go home" is the mantra and I do not fall short.

If you have drawn the "other half" ticket. I'm sorry for you. I need coddling, head rubs, and a silent agreement to watch whatever I want to watch. I need you to look past my horrid, "Independence Day alien creature" exo-skeleton and commit to your inner Florence Nightingale. (Sidenote: I completely return the favor...this is not a one-sided thing.....I can/will take care of you....Just do not get sick when I get sick....it's my time and I'm not sharing)

Here's the rub, I can't bring myself to say I need attention. It completely negates the special feeling. So....yes....I want you to know what I want and need without me having to say it.

And yes...I will get mad if you can't read my mind.


(I'm sorry)

Longing

At one of the brokest points in my adult working life I have developed an insatiable travel bug.

My short-term goals for this year:

DC
ATL
NYC

My long term goals (between now and next summer):

Cayman
JA
Chicago


Jesus be a payroll check, deposit slip, and a passport stamp I'm ready to explore.

Ramblings, Pt 2

Wow....usually I don't have enough randomness for 2 "rambling" posts in one week....I guess this week is the exception.


1. I'm tired.

2. I love you Shonda...truly I do...but Grey's needn't be any longer than 90 minutes. Ever.

3. I hate how I turn on my trashy tv once the "real shows" return. RHOA couldn't hold a candle to Grey's last night.

4. Everyone in the office wore a sports team shirt today. I realized I don't own one and if I did I probably wouldn't wear it.

5. I've realized that I'd like to go back to school, but purely for networking reasons.

6. I don't broadcast the fact that I can cook, in fact, truth be told I prefer to broadcast the things that I can't cook. I am the resident "bringer of" drinks, alcohol, paper products, etc. That doesn't actually bother me at all. However, if Sweets hated my food I think I'd be hurt. What a conundrum.

7. The only shows that I would watch repeatedly on DVD are British shows/comedies: Hustle, Keeping Up Appearances, Are you being Served, and MI-5. Nothing else holds on my attention on DVD, however, I will watch re-runs all day.

that is all.....Have a great weekend.

Exhale

Taking a break, even if it's just for 24 hours, is a wonderful thing. I feel fantastically rested and ready to conquer the world.

Note to self: Listen to the blog readers!

Riddle Me This....

I'm looking at Pepsi machines with debit card swipe machines attached and my brain starts spinning....

1. Did we even have debit cards in high school?

2.Sweets finds that hilarious, but folks had pagers not cell phones in high school.
Code: 143 (I love u)
Code:123(I miss u)
Code: 07734 (hello)

3. Wi-fi??? Ummm AOL dial-up was key.

4. Ipod??? No, Discman with anti-skip (and extra double A batteries).

5. I don't remember seeing any student bring a laptop computer to high school....ever.

LOL hmmm....so much has changed so quickly.

Happy Birthday!

It's 9:42am....

I've made sheet angels (snow angels in the sheets), I've been serenaded by k-5ers, had well wishes from most of my favorite people AND there is a promise of pancakes from Sweets......which means one thing......

It's my bday!!!!!!!

I hope that everyone else has as much of a good day as I'm having :)

Ramblings

1. Thanks to everyone's gentle prodding I will be taking tomorrow off from jobs 1-3. To celebrate my Bday!

a. Does anyone know why Sweets had already taken off the entire day, but failed to mention to me that I should be doing the same? His statement: "I assumed that you would."

(sigh)

2. I will still probably end up doing a portion of job 1 & 2. (double sigh)

3. I can't tell if I'm particularly ashy or unseasonably pale. Lotion is being too impartial of a judge to clear the issue up for me.

4. I have a strong desire to watch "The Rescuer's Down Under" (I always thought Bianca was a sassy thing.....hmmm I'd venture to say that she wore Ann Taylor designs the whole movie).

5. This year I've managed to break my iPod, camera, phone, harddrive, 4 sets of earbuds, and computer charger making this a personal best for Dani destruction.

6. I am nauseated quite easily and the fix can be found in either chocolate ice cream, "on-point" McDonald's fries, or peppermints.

7. Sweets finds this absolutely bizarre...I really wish I was making my "fixes" up.

8. If you leave me unattended long enough I will find a way to live without you in my life. Madam Shida and I had this discussion eons ago, once you are out of my immediate sight long enough, you will be out of my mind.

9. Watching the news this morning about the ATL floods I had a mini-panic attack about all of my ATL people. When I contacted them, they all downplayed the situation immensely. I can't believe I fell the natural disaster trick! Every time there is promise of a hurricane in South Florida I get bombarded with phone calls, because the media is purporting that Armaggedon is happening in my backyard...sigh...I'm so disappointed in myself. Somebody take my credentials.

10.I feel like my co-workers at job 3 are waiting for me to break out pics of my kids or are sniffing me for Similac. Yes, all of the twenty-something temps, in this county, that I've ever come across, in my lifetime, are usually supporting a family the size of a kindergarten class(wow--structurally that sentence was a clusterf*ck). I, however, am the exception. I work all of these damn jobs...to support just me...and my moods(those are the closest things to kids that I have).


11. I cannot believe that I'll be 27 tomorrow. It's time to start having more fun...these years are flying by!

Sweating Under My Spanx

I have a spanx tank top that keeps my back and side meat in check and out of the plain view of the unsuspecting citizens of the world. Today at 10:08am I am in the bathroom of job 3 hiding, blogging, and airing out.

By 8am this morning I had spoken to my boss @ job 1 no less than 3 times. I had also held 2 conference calls, one of which I got to talk an employee off of a ledge because she was tired of her check being late (umm....yea get in line everyone's is late). I "virtually" met with three new hires from three different countries to explain company policy....all while trying to get dressed.

I dialed in to my last conference call at 8:30am, muted the phone, grabbed my bfast/lunch elements, threw them in my purse, shoved my computer in its bag, strapped the bags to my back, grabbed my shoes and ran outside, got in the car and proceeded to weave in and out of traffic while eating string cheese, and giving my boss my division updates, until I got to job 3.

I get to job 3, log off my job 1 call, walk inside the building and put all but one of my bfast/lunch elements in the fridge. I get to my desk crack open my bfast shake and I hear my supervisor's door open. I turn around to look at the face of a woman that has had a rough weekend and is glad to be at work this morning. Think Cruella deville as she tears through the countryside looking for the 99 Dalmation puppies....yea that was the face that she had. She summons me to her office to tell me that it's someone's birthday today and she forgot to get the cake. I then get my morning marching orders. Pick up a cake, a bday card, 2 bereavement cards, a loss of pet card ( I won't even get into that one but **face**). I take one sip of my bfast shake and hit the road.

Of course...this is the morning that I didn't pack any flats. Of course.....this is the morning that I'm not wearing a loose interpretation of professional attire, so I'm running around in dressy stuff. Of course....this is the morning that I decide to reign in my back meat and my pot holder side meat. Of course...this is the morning that I lotioned my feet and it rained so the lotion has created a slip-n-slide in my heels and my big toe nail polish has chipped. I'm a walking three-ringed circus bound in lycra sausage casing!

So I get to pu.blix(grocery store) grab the cards and the cake and get in line. Now the 10 items of less lines are on the other end of the store. Do I totter down to the other end to get in the shorter line? No....because I feel like I'm asking for a complete wipe-out in the middle of the store. So I jump in the closest line and am behind a stay-at-home mom doing her weekly grocery shopping and her cute child and I'm in front of a man buying enough fruit to stock a jungle. Well....the child was cute. The thing started shrieking to the point where I was so rattled I shot it the nastiest look and it got quiet. Fruit man then decided to strike up a conversation, but thankfully he was cut off by my ringing phone. The phone call was from my supervisor....I needed to grab another bereavement card.

At this point mommy dearest has blocked me in to the front and chiquita banana supplier man has me blocked in the back so I can only wait until the mother moved to go back to the card section and grab another one. I get back to work put the cake in the conference room and go and cover the phones for the receptionist. By the time I get back to my desk I welcome the piece of cake that my supervisor left for me. As I'm eating it, I look down and realize...my front buttons are undone. Hello Sausage casing, wonder how long you've been exposed???.....So i'm here in the bathroom sitting in the chair (they put a chair in here for nursing mother's I presume) and just thinking wow...it's not even 11am yet.

It's Friday Right?

I am exhausted. The plan for this weekend is...nothing. Packing up my things now, just counting down the minutes until I can get in bed.

The real question is why so tired?


Have a Happy Weekend!

Excuse Me....What's Your Name?

So today I finally realized that a co-worker at job 3 has been calling me 'Justine' for the past few weeks. I don't even know where he pulled that from, but since my standard greeting is a smile and nod, I never actually listened to what he had been calling me.

The question is at what point is it too late to correct someone about your name?

My fantastic front (yep I'm just going to stop putting quotes on that, since I barely remember the person that was my actual front) has been known for skewering the population of people that shorten her given name.

I am slightly less aggressive about my name, however, if you mispell the 8-letter form or the 4-letter form you are officially dead to me. Ok, maybe I am a bit aggressive about it.

Anyway, once you've interacted with someone daily for three weeks only to realize that you don't know their name can you still ask them for it? How about 3 months?

Do the rules change if you want someone to call you by a different name? Or are you stuck with the name that you used to introduce yourself?

At job 2, everyone operates on a shortened version of their name. That is a first for me, usually I issue anyone affiliated with work the 8-letter version of my name and keep it moving. The co-workers are the type to either take your shortened version or give you one of their own. **Face** that wasn't happening, so everyone uses to the 4-letter form of my name. I want, however, to revoke that right for the one chick that I can't stand. Hearing the intake of breath that she takes just prior to uttering my name makes me want to slap her.

Likewise, Sweets issued everyone his government name when he started working there. Yea....just try to come in and ask for Sh---- you'll get a **blank stare**.

I suppose in both of those instances we are just stuck....it has been almost two years.

Anyone know what the rule is when it comes to names, or should I just tap in to my inner 'Justine'?

Space

Is it just me or are "space" and "race" intrinsically linked?


Example

I pull up to the ATM and an elderly white gentleman is standing next to it. He motions for me to go ahead with my transaction. I look at him like he's the anti-christ. Please sir, I need a modicum of privacy and you standing there isn't helping. Besides, who walks up to the drive-thru ATM? I just pulled off.

Example

When I went to order breakfast the other day a white cutie co-worker simply stepped to the side so that I could order. Out elbows were almost touching. I shot him a "I need 4-5 feet" look and he smiled, while maintaining his oblivious look, and remained one step away from me.

Example

When shopping and manuevering through close aisles another black woman saw me coming and we both eased our purses off of our shoulders to make more space to pass each other. When I passed her daughter moments later, she simply stepped to the side to make room for me to pass (even though we probably both could have made it).

Example

Going out for drinks with co-workers. The greetings vary widely. I can expect overwhelmingly tight and sometimes lingering hugs from friends of my white female co-workers. If I meet another black person/couple a warm smile and half-wave is perfectly acceptable.

Conclusion

I don't even approach hovering range when other people are taking care of any kind of personal transaction. I go out of my way to do all sorts of Matrix antics in order to avoid any kind of booty rub, arm graze, pelvic brush when working in a close space with a co-worker. I thought that was standard practice. My disclaimer: I'm not one of those people that shies away from the human touch. I just think that you should know my first, middle, and last name first. There are some instances in which I've broken that rule, but they are far and few in between. I just really need people to give me slightly more space.

The Little Things

My Happy Birthday email from Cold.stone's came in today(a week early?? who's complaining?).......Every bday I enjoy a cold.stone creation on them....yes I should probably do a commercial because it's just shameful how happy that email makes me.....Score!

Uh-Oh

My bday is next week and for the first time in ages I didn't schedule a day off from work(jobs 1-3). Call it maturity if you are foolish. I call it, "what happens when you don't have anything planned." I couldn't for the life of me iron down a specific plan for my bday. So as the date started to get closer, I resigned myself to treating it like any other day. I figured I'd do something for it later when I have a better plan.

EXCEPT.....the reason that I've been taking my bday off (for the last few yrs) is that from midnight to midnight my brain goes into princess mode. I usually don't like to take direction and normal activities make me impatient....why? Because it's a special day!

Work will be very interesting next week.

Until I find a new outlet

Top 5 things that I can't blog about.....

1. _________, you are tripping....no for real.....get a grip!

2. Why in the world would you ____________? AND you want _______________ when?

3. I told you ________ would happen.

4. Seriously, I wish ___________hadn't discovered twitter and __________was banned from blogger.

5. I don't like __________ and I don't know why.

Tic Toc

I do not appreciate my time being taken for granted. I hate waiting. If we schedule something for 8:30, please believe that I want it to begin at 8:30. I schedule things out, why? Because it cuts down on the likelihood that I will be disappointed, misinformed, and/or aggravated.

No, I'm not infallible to tardiness. However, it's only in very rare instances that am I tardy without warning. You will usually get a SMS, MMS, email, phone call, or voicemail from me if I think I'll be late.

I expect the same. Use i.cal, go.ogle cal, large paper calendar, a throwback student planner....something....and get your life together.

Why am I raging at 8:45am? Because I had a conference call for job 1 this morning @ 8:30, which is usually the time that I'm heading out the door to get to job 3. So on conference call mornings, I get ready early so that I'm already at job 3 in the parking lot in time for the call.

8:30 I'm already logged into the call and parking my car.....Is the person that emailed me yesterday and scheduled this call in place? No.....so I'm sitting in the parking lot at work early for no reason (I can't go in early-I'm contracted for a certain schedule). ugh!

To top it off.....It's Day 2 of my healthy breakfast and all I really want is bacon.

Good Morning.

Randomness

1. Why is it that I can eat one really unhealthy meal and be full for the entire day, however, the second that I try to eat healthily I'm famished for a better portion of the day(Despite small portions every few hours).

2. I understand that more water in your system makes for a healthier body, but SERIOUSLY I'm tired of watching myself go back and forth to the bathroom like i'm 9.5 months pregnant (I'm not...don't even think it...that's how rumors get started).

3. Has anyone, reading this blog, successfully landed a job in another state? If so, your advice would be appreciated.

4. I am either getting sick, or my wisdom teeth are moving, or I'm allergic to something, or detouring into a hypochondriasis--again. Whatever the cause may be, I feel terrible!

5. With weddings on my mind, I've realized that I want really good food, great ambiance music, and a set-up that yields tons of conversation. Basically, I want a dinner party. Somewhere in there, I'd like to promise Sweets forever-dom in front of his parents, my parents and Jesus. That's pretty much it. Oh yea, and I'd like my dress to cause a mental and physical pause to all that happen to look at it directly(in a good way). I'll figure out how to accomplish that at some point.

6. My roommate freshman year was incredibly messy. So much so that she triggered a level of "anality" in me that I didn't know existed. Fast-forward to current day. When I'm in a space by myself, it becomes as messy as my mind happens to be at that moment. However, if I'm sharing a space, cubicle, car ride, or even a park bench with someone else I compulsively tidy.

Maid Of Honor Redux

My sister got engaged (it's been a busy weekend) and despite my pleading to valet cars, she has already asked me to be her Maid of Honor. It's rather early in the engagement (putting it mildly) so my chance to valet isn't completely lost. I'm keeping hope alive.

In the meantime...Congrats to Ash & Steve!

Love you both!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. The "redux" is due to the fact that I'm currently the MOH for my podmate. Egads! the last time I was in a wedding....I was a flower girl!

Regulator!

Notice anything? Come on.....think about it.... Anything???? I've blogged this entire work week.

What hath occurred to get me back on a normal schedule? I cover the front desk for the receptionist every day from noon-1pm. For some reason, the company has yet to put up a firewall for blogger, so every day I've been writing at least two posts and scheduling them to post the next day.

Score! So for those of you who have tracked me down via email, SMS, MMS, BBmsger, etc. for not updating regularly, I hope that you've enjoyed this week.

GPS Needed

Here at job 3, I assist the HR director, who oversees the needs of between 150-200 people company wide. I love HR. Well, let me take a step back. Much like my Broadcast major, HR seemingly comes easy to me. I can pretend to listen and be concerned about people's needs with the best of them. At my primary job, my employer skillfully tasked me with small HR tasks, here and there until I became the entire department(yea....got got). Honestly, I don't mind because solving other people's problems are usually really easy for someone who isn't really interested in dealing with their own issues. Thusly, I don't quite Love HR....it's just something I do without thinking.

Now in my few weeks with company 3, I've been maintaining a running dialogue with Hey-Zoos Crees-toe (spelled phonetically) aka J.C. for those of you that didn't take Spanish. I'm of the mindset that this is either a gateway to a better job, a resume builder, something to pad my pockets, or this is an example of a job that I think I want, but in actuality would prefer to pass on.

The latter is resounding in my ears. Good golly, I'm bored. So bored that I typed "golly." This company is a microcosm of my time in Palm Beach. Great company, wonderful people, but I'm inunadated with an insatiable itch to do more than my cubicle allows.

I suppose I've done "my bid" of cubicle work. Having worked in a cubicle/front desk setting off and on for the past (gasp) 10 years. I'm over it. I love to travel and generally if nothing else, I've come to realize that it's more fun to do something that requires perpetual motion and interaction outside of a closet space.

Ugh Crees-toe! I'm listening, but I'm not liking it......I need a GPS for my life!

Thoughts

1. Dear co-worker, I do not know why your keycode works, but your thumb print won't read correctly. However, without both items I cannot let you in the building. My apologies.

2. Please do not call me at 6am to let me know that you are running late. I take naps from 5am-6am and from 6:30-7:30am, do you really think that I care about you being 10 minutes late?

3. If I'm having a terrible day, then I would appreciate it if everyone, but Sweets left me alone. Sweets, I would like to be coddled, but do not plan to reciprocate the affection in any way.

4. Speaking of Sweets....Sweets called me selfish yesterday. While I know that I have selfish tendencies, I do not appreciate hearing about them. Please submit a memo next time. In triplicate.

5. Dear hair, you have exactly 3 weeks to act like you know what I expect of you. Do not be a petulant child and "act out" in front of company!

6. Dear Face, Ditto.

7. I despise the fact that I've become more of an emotional person the older that I've gotten. Just once, I'd like to approach a topic that makes me incredibly angry, sad, scared, or happy and not feel like tears on are stand-by. I HATE tears(frat excluded).

8. I tend not to revisit specific times in my life, hence the reason that Homecoming is a hard concept for me to enjoy. To further clarify, I never returned to my elementary, middle, or high school once I left. As I look at Homecoming quickly approaching, I'm more likely to make individul plans with my friends and skip the whole, "Hey Girl!!!!!!!!!" song and dance routine.

9. My plans to move to ATL do include my willingness to drive a Marta train. Also, I have not ruled out applying to be the 4th Fantana.

10. I absolutely feel like I'm following the path that I'm supposed to follow, but I can't calm down my own internal angst. The path that I'm taking is not the one that I planned for myself, nor is it leading me where I want to go(on my timeline). That is 2 successive "I's" which is the surest formula for disaster. I'm at the place where faith, fortitude, logic, hope, and dreams are clashing and I don't like it.

11. I cannot believe that 27 is around the corner.

Vacation From The Vacations.....

I feel like over the last two years I've taken a ridiculous amount of personal development days, staycations, vacations, and general 'log out' moments. Yet, I can't shake the tiredness and constant feeling that I need a vacation. My initial thought was that my laziness was trying to rear it's ugly head. However, it may be more than that. I think that the constant budget concerns and the never being 100% "unplugged" has created a situation in which I haven't completely stepped away from everything, nor have I had the chance for some brutal self-evaluation.


Even with this realization, I don't think I'll be able to schedule some serious agenda-free R&R until 2010. However, that is the newest thing on my to-do list. The plan will also be to have different circumstances waiting for me when I get back.

Who Me?

A woman at church asked about my sister on Sunday(forever ago)....

Woman: "How is she doing?"
Me: "She's great, still in the O, pursuing her MBA."
Woman: "Oh that's fantastic! What have you been up to?"
Me: "Managing my division and trying to stay challenged."
Woman: "I'm sure your mom is glad to have you in town. There is always one child that likes to stay close to home."
Me: (sputter)


Who me?????? Aww hell naw. I'm the child that loves to travel and hates being at home. The girl that says yes at every opportunity to take a trip. The girl that has always jumped out in the proverbial "street" and thought about whether or not there was a "car" coming later. Madam, clearly you are mistaken! Clearly, you've gotten your wires crossed. I only came home after graduation because I didn't have a job and I promised myself I'd leave once my opportunites 'dried up.' Yea, that was 4+ years ago, but that doesnt mea...

Sh*t!

Why in the hell am I still here? What could it be?

Hmm........

Ublogable Topics

Every once in awhile you come across something close to your heart that you want to blog about, but it's either too selfish, tacky, hurtful, hateful, honest, funny, etc. to be blogged about. I have to find a workaround.

For some reason I've been slammed with these types of topics non-stop for the last month.....(sigh)

Pillows Not Fists....Just My Opinion

Fighting fair seems to be the mantra of relationship "experts" throughout the country.

1. Try not to rehash old details from "forgiven/forgotten" arguments

2. Don't hit below the belt (figuratively & literally)

3. Don't be passive-aggressive and fight about irrelevant subject matters, instead of facing "the real issues"

Blah Blah Blah....fighting is not a "fair" practice. Hell, rarely are "relationships" and "fair" in the same sentence. So how does one "fight fair"? You don't. Stop being focused on fairness and focus on winning. Seems crazy? It's not.

Winning a fight is a relative concept. I do not equate winning to bullying, when I say "win" I mean accomplishing your end goal.

For instance, if your fight starts because your boyfriend isn't spending enough time with you, don't waste your energy playing mind games with him....figure out what YOUR ultimate goal is....

1. Do you want him to spend more time with you?

2. Do you feel like communication is the issue?

3. Do you just need more attention overall?

4. Do you dislike feeling like an afterthought?

5. Are you looking for a reason to leave him anyway and he's not making it easy enough?

Whatever the goal is, structure your fight not to be heard, but to win.

Dani....that seems conniving.....no....it seems real. Why waste time in an argument if you're not going to win? You'll just end up fighting about something else, until victory is yours.

Over the weekend Sweets and I had the most intense (and yet shortest) fight I'd ever experienced. I will not purport that we are even slightly more mature/enlightened than the average couple. We just honestly didn't have time for the full out argument, "salty" feelings, untrue statements of forgiveness, obligatory gabfest with the respective friends about how much we can't really stand when the other person does _________, etc.

I could tell something was wrong and we started to get into the usual routine of one person asking questions, while the other person lies with "salty" answers.

Looking at the time, I realized the way this would end. We would not accomplish anything immediately, go through the day with an unresolved issue, ruin one day of vacation, eventually solve the issue, and then regret (one week later) that we hadn't resolved it sooner.

Let the fight begin.....(Ding, Ding)....in this corner with unspoken, yet obvious anger is Sweets.....in the other corner with confusion and aggravation is Dani.....

Pause...I don't even know what the fight is about...but I want to win it. For me the "win" in that instance was to be over it. For him a "win" was to get to the bottom of what he had overheard me saying.

So I pulled an uncharacteristically Dani move and without a drop of coy or decorum attacked Sweets until I got an answer to what was amiss. Now, having taken a big girl pill and questioned him head on, I had to be completely willing to handle the rest of the argument the same way. So when he asked me to clarify what I had said in passing, I did. There was definitely room for me to fly off the handle abt why he was asking me questions and go around in circles, but....I wanted to win.

So we talked....in an open/honest/unvarnished format. Before I knew it the fight was over.

Is focusing on "winning" a "fair" way to deal with relationship quarrels, probably not, but then again I suppose you'd need to ask someone who is in one. Our fight is over. Guess who won? We both did.

Overheard At The Salon

"I was just calling you back to tell you that I got your email...."

--I HATE PPL LIKE YOU!

"....the neighborhood is terrified that a mass murderer will kill them when they go outside."

--CNN covering this story....Don't act surprised now that your police force are 2 steps behind Paul Blart.....either stay inside or move....but get off my tv screen!

"The lady at the license place said a replacement license was $25....I said let me go home and look for my other one again."

--You are the reason fees go up...lazy!

"The Jamie Foxx show wasn't that crowded....If Beyonce can sell out the Bank Atlantic Center, why did Jamie Foxx think that he could do the same? He needed to be at the improv."

-Damn....Bank Atlantic Center 22, 457 seats...Hollywood Improv 460 seats.

(Conversation Between Stylists) "Ya-Ya can you pls go and pick up my daughter?" Ya-Ya: "I can't I have a client." T: "You know she'll be late anyway, just go get her." Ya-Ya: "I called my client and she's two minutes away." T: "Oh well ask her to go pick up my daughter for me."

--Do I even need to comment on this one?

I Hate You...and your allowance!

So at the salon today I peered through my "Simba mane" to take a look at a high-school chick that was also getting her hair done.

Her pedicure was fresh and her hair had an "instant-wrap" essence (a-la Soon to be Mrs. Patti in her relaxer days) that could only have been attained through a faithful 2-week appointment schedule.

She was happy...with the worlds smallest purse...I'm assuming she had a driver's license, debit card, lip gloss, and a cell phone.

She looked like the only thing she knew of "bills" was that it was 1/3 of the title of an "old school"(to her) Destiny's Child song. There was a cherubic glow about her that comes with being unfamiliar with overdraft fees and ramen noodles.

Her bank account was mommy-funded and daddy-approved. She was young and well-maintained and I hated her for it. I should be more of an adult than I am, but I can't deal. I'm at my first hair appointment in months. I've (gasp--never thought it would come to this) started to do my own pedicures, I went an entire summer without a french manicure (yes even in '09 sometimes I like a throwback look).

Effectively, I tapped into my inner recessionista once my bank account tapped out.

I cannot believe that I looked forward to adulthood! A few people on twitter reminded me why I thought things would be different. They pointed to my love of shows like "Living Single", "SATC", "Girlfriends", and "Friends." Now when I watch those shows I realize that the characters aren't in their 20's....they are in their early (mid & late) 30's. I just hope that with the rapidly approaching 3-0 I will have more financial security and room for the kind of fun that requires a sitcom laughing track.

In the meantime....hey little girl....give me your damn allowance!

Not It....

Today is not a good day. I can't quite put my finger on why, I just know that it's not. Using 'Love Jones' to get through the afternoon. Hopefully I'll have a better post tomorrow.