I overheard my mom talking about me to a friend of hers. Of course, my nosey self honed right in on the conversation and proceeded to listen to it in its entirety.
It's different when your mother talked about you to one of her friends, when you were little and she knew you're listening.
"Hmmm Jennie makes her bed every day? She needs to spend more time with her friend Dani, maybe that will rub off."
This conversation was something different. She was talking about my time in undergrad and the woman I had become. She was talking about my work struggles and the life I was leading. She was proud of me. Not that I was surprised per se. All of it I had heard before, most of it I thought was obligatory mother banter. This was different.
I often think about how as a kid my mom was a just a mom. She didn't necessarily register as an actual individual. I didn't usually look at her as a woman making it in the world. She was in the mom category. Likewise, she didn't always look at me as a little person, I was her daughter. I was her little person. As I get older the parameters are changing rapidly. I still see my mom as a woman who kicks butt, takes names, and yet always makes things work. I do, however, see her missteps and the things that she struggles with. She's imperfectly perfect.
In one conversation I wasn't listening to her as a daughter listens to their mother, but as an adult listens to an older adult. I wonder if she knew how proud I was of her?
I hope that I'll always give her something to be proud about.
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