I used to have a problem with pre-marital sex.
Until I came across someone I wanted to sleep with.
I used to think it was reckless to go out Sunday night when you know that you have work on Monday morning.
Until I did it, had a great time and made it to work with no problems.
I used to think profanity was tacky.
Until I came up with a few choice combinations that are guaranteed to leave me with a kool-aid grin every time.
I used to think that living together aka shacking up was a bad idea all around.
Until....now.
Until I came across someone I wanted to sleep with.
I used to think it was reckless to go out Sunday night when you know that you have work on Monday morning.
Until I did it, had a great time and made it to work with no problems.
I used to think profanity was tacky.
Until I came up with a few choice combinations that are guaranteed to leave me with a kool-aid grin every time.
I used to think that living together aka shacking up was a bad idea all around.
Until....now.
Hmm...My mother would like to think that there was a flaw in the way that I was raised. I'd like to think its making my own decisions based on what I feel and not so much what I was taught. Poor mom.
My litmus test for the things in my life that I'm growing comfortable with, is whether or not I can freely and openly disclose those thoughts/decisions. Recently, ok not so recently (more like the last six months), Sweets and I have been talking about moving. Now, the reality of the situation is we are not interested in long distance relationships. As it stands we live less than 5 minutes away from each other (the distance in itself is aggrevating). Any move that we make will be together. I've read the studies about how living together can erode a marriage down the line. I understand the 'shacking up' issues from a moral standpoint. However, my reality is that I spend less than 24 hours a week at home.
I remember my adamant "never, ever, ever" statements and I just laugh to myself. It's amazing how quickly you can change your mind when you want to.
Oh, and to clarify...we have had the marriage talk, engagement talk, bills talk, credit score talk, kids talk, life goals/dreams/aspirations, christening the kids talk, religion talk, etc.
Any "never, ever"s in your life that you've backtracked on?
My litmus test for the things in my life that I'm growing comfortable with, is whether or not I can freely and openly disclose those thoughts/decisions. Recently, ok not so recently (more like the last six months), Sweets and I have been talking about moving. Now, the reality of the situation is we are not interested in long distance relationships. As it stands we live less than 5 minutes away from each other (the distance in itself is aggrevating). Any move that we make will be together. I've read the studies about how living together can erode a marriage down the line. I understand the 'shacking up' issues from a moral standpoint. However, my reality is that I spend less than 24 hours a week at home.
I remember my adamant "never, ever, ever" statements and I just laugh to myself. It's amazing how quickly you can change your mind when you want to.
Oh, and to clarify...we have had the marriage talk, engagement talk, bills talk, credit score talk, kids talk, life goals/dreams/aspirations, christening the kids talk, religion talk, etc.
Any "never, ever"s in your life that you've backtracked on?
5 comments:
Perfectly just because at one point you say never doesn't mean you won't do it we change as we grow. I don't like a lot of things but that doesn't mean I won't ever do them as long as you are happy and you are making progress go for it. Life is way to short to have regrets!
I used to believe that I would never live with a man until I got married. That was until, of course, I couldn't stand my roomate anymore and I couldn't afford DC rent by myself on a part-time job full time grad student 'salary'. Then living with the (now) hubby seemed perfect! Ha! We knew we were going to (try) to be together forever and better get to know each others quirks now rather than later. I believe, we are allowed to change the 'never evers' into 'when the time is right in my life' :)
I also agree with Alexus. Living with someone is something I never thought of doing till I was married, but because situations out of my control that changed. I knew it wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be like I was staying at his house for a period of time or vice versa, this was a commitment. I feel we have learned a lot about one another as a couple and as individuals and after moving into our second apartment, we do realize that 2 bathrooms are better than 1 :)
yes, talk!!! how have you guys done more talking in the almost a year relationship than drew and i have done in 10+ years?
well, I know we both have diverse financial portfolios...
Ana...Trust me, the "talking" was not my idea...But I'm glad he's hard wired that way. I'm learning to put things out there, but it's a hard process if that's not what you're used to.
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