The next few posts will be me sorting through my thoughts. Be Honest. Be Honest. Be Honest. That is what I'm trying to do as a blogger. Be honest about the not so pretty things on my mind. I pulled the comments option on this post, because I'm just trying to at least get everything in my mind on the screen and then go from there in my own time.
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I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life right now. Point blank. I do know that I want something different, but I don't know how to "define" different. Meaning I don't know what change would make things better.
I'd like to live somewhere else. I can't tell if you if that means move across the street, across town, across the state, or across the country.
I have short-term goals of knocking out some immediate bills to free up money. That should be taken care of by March 1 if not sooner. At that point I will be 7 months with the "temp job" and 3 months into my promotion. Walking away feels like I've totally wasted that time and would make my resume seem like i'm a transient.
Being in D.C. reminded me of my old self. Good and Bad. You can't go back to a certain time and place. Moving back based on nostalgia is a baaad move. Moving back to start a new future seems like a good move.
What happened to ATL? Love, love, love, love it there, but I'm craving a faster pace. While I'm without kiddies, I should probably indulge those cravings right?
So.....piggybacking off my last post. If the mr. wants to be in Miami and I want to be....elsewhere....we have a problem.
Long distance isn't impossible. It's just hard for me. I have a tendency to learn to live without people and it's a hard tendency to overcome. Meaning, I miss you, so I fill my life with other folks and then when it comes time for "us" to be back together there's no longer any room for you. Been there and done that. I'm older now so maybe it would be different, but do I want to hinge things on a maybe?
Could I live in Miami? No clue...I've never spent more than 8 hours there. Never. Ever. Would hate to move to DC only to realize that the change that I needed was a hour and some change south of me...
Ana asked me abt resentment & the relationship......great question, it's on my mind too, next post....
