Simmer

I have dating longevity down pat.

Dating variety?

Not so much.

I'm a serial monogamist and have basically been in some semblance of a relationship consistently for the last 13 years. I don't think this boils down into a right/wrong discussion. I've made dating choices based on what makes me happy.

The downside to not taking a real break in between relationships, is that you are learning/changing/evolving on someone else's time.

Even going back through this blog and looking at posts from a yr and a half ago I cringe at my own openness. Everything has been posted from a genuine place, but in hindsight it was too much, too soon.

So I'm at the starting point again. Having the conversations that I've had before, feeling the way that I've felt before, thinking about forever, navigating through right now, it's familiar place. Let me not discredit my current relationship and call it a mirror image of my past relationships, there are some distinct differences, but the cadences are the same.

I can't make the same mistakes twice. Which, when learning and evolving while in the midst of a relationship, can be hard to avoid.

One lesson learned, pull back a bit. Not with him...but with everyone else. I've professed my undying love via blog and lip service twice and I've discussed my "this is my forever person" twice, intermingled the lives of my friends/family/significant others twice. Does that speak to who I am? A little bit. But having to retract/redirect those statements and feelings is trying, at best.

So I'm trying not to push. Trying to let things happen in their own time. Mixing friends, introducing family, screaming from the rooftop about my happiness, those are quintessential Dani moves. Restraint? Foreign concept.

I'm trying.