The last few weeks have felt like the best and worst of times. When I realized that I'd be here at least another six months, I exhaled a bit and allowed myself to feel like this was home.
Which means that I'm inevitably putting some distance into the relationship.
As long as I existed in a transient state I was more there than here.
Now I'm here for real.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ramblings: Exhausted
1. Just to catch everyone up. I'll be staying in gotham for a while longer. While I don't have any definite details, I do have a plan. More on that one later.
2. I'm going home Friday night. I'm so beyond excited. I think I blogged 3 years ago about needing a vacation. It's finally happening.
3. I'm also incredibly excited to see LC this weekend. I have a horrible case of the week 2 blues (somewhere around the 2-3 week mark the whole long distance thing take a terrible turn, from being an inconvenience, to reaching levels of sucktitude not previously known by mere mortals.)
4. Why do I keep getting calls from former associates who are looking for fuel to flame their lawsuits against one of my former employers? No Bueno.
5. I spent Sunday evening with the ex's mother. It was beyond great to see her, but I just kept thinking....a year ago it was all so different....
There's more to be said, but that is for a different blog on a different day.
6. I walked into the laundry room and interrupted two jr. high students making out...Badly I might add. I wanted to advise them to find a cleaner location, but I'd hate to be an enabler. Also, their look-out looked at me, looking at him, looking at me... waited until I walked past him and was almost at the door, before he turned and said "cooo." Sir... Fired. Then to make matters worse they hit me with a "i'm sorry ma'am." Ma'am?????? I can't be that old...Technically, I am actually old enough to have birthed them. Wow....Le Sigh.
7. Noniversary....LC and I are quickly approaching our one-year mark. I explained to him about three weeks into dating, that I was tired of celebrating non-marital anniversaries...I still feel that way. Noniversary it is.
8. Speaking of LC, to prove my argument about his Haiku, I used an interactive learning tool to create a Venn Diagram.
a. I love the fact that we geek out together.
b. I'm now determined to decorate one of our walls with a Venn Diagram. Mark my words, it will happen.
9. My new cubemate is amazing. It's funny how one person can change everything.
10. Boots and trench in NY, Flips and sundress in FL, capris and flats in DC....packing for next week should be interesting.
2. I'm going home Friday night. I'm so beyond excited. I think I blogged 3 years ago about needing a vacation. It's finally happening.
3. I'm also incredibly excited to see LC this weekend. I have a horrible case of the week 2 blues (somewhere around the 2-3 week mark the whole long distance thing take a terrible turn, from being an inconvenience, to reaching levels of sucktitude not previously known by mere mortals.)
4. Why do I keep getting calls from former associates who are looking for fuel to flame their lawsuits against one of my former employers? No Bueno.
5. I spent Sunday evening with the ex's mother. It was beyond great to see her, but I just kept thinking....a year ago it was all so different....
There's more to be said, but that is for a different blog on a different day.
6. I walked into the laundry room and interrupted two jr. high students making out...Badly I might add. I wanted to advise them to find a cleaner location, but I'd hate to be an enabler. Also, their look-out looked at me, looking at him, looking at me... waited until I walked past him and was almost at the door, before he turned and said "cooo." Sir... Fired. Then to make matters worse they hit me with a "i'm sorry ma'am." Ma'am?????? I can't be that old...Technically, I am actually old enough to have birthed them. Wow....Le Sigh.
7. Noniversary....LC and I are quickly approaching our one-year mark. I explained to him about three weeks into dating, that I was tired of celebrating non-marital anniversaries...I still feel that way. Noniversary it is.
8. Speaking of LC, to prove my argument about his Haiku, I used an interactive learning tool to create a Venn Diagram.
a. I love the fact that we geek out together.
b. I'm now determined to decorate one of our walls with a Venn Diagram. Mark my words, it will happen.
9. My new cubemate is amazing. It's funny how one person can change everything.
10. Boots and trench in NY, Flips and sundress in FL, capris and flats in DC....packing for next week should be interesting.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Amped & The Decline
Today feels like a really good day. Nothing has changed really. There is more money in my account today, which is pretty much already spent. Nothing new. But there is a certain inexplicable joy that happens when you have nothing on the docket tomorrow. I guess that is the downside of a Sunday...Monday is right around the corner.
Today I have finished booking everything that pertains to my Easter trip home. Which makes it all official and makes me really happy....I'm excited to see how today plays out.
---------------
That was all written before 1pm today. Here is the rest of the post
----------------
1:37pm....Musings
1. My lunch was so painfully lackluster that I'm going to have to ask myself out on a date, do a scandalous amount of flirting, and show some leg all while ingesting a tear-inducingly amazing, Amen and Hallelujah-esque dinner to make up for it.
2. LC is really quite stressed about the way the government shutdown is being handled. Moments like this makes the distance 10 times harder. I can do absolutely nothing to ease his frustration. Reading "I understand" via gchat/text can't be very comforting. I hate feeling like a bystander in my relationship with things get hard.
3. When I was younger my mom had the definitive answer to everything. Hell, last week she had the answer to everything. Closing out my twenties I'm in awe of how wrong I can be and how little I know. It's a wonder I'm still standing.
4. The thing about today is I didn't come to work to actually do any work. The problem is I said the same thing Wednesday and Thursday.
5. I'm finally going to get my taxes done today. All budget decisions, bill payments, etc. are on hold until I come out of the meeting. With five w-2's, a mid-year relocation and the introduction of state taxes to my life, I have no idea how this will go.
6. Boogie had a great quote today: "Tired of doing the same thing and getting inconsistent results." I think I'm going to title that the twentysomethings mantra.
Three more hours to go......
Today I have finished booking everything that pertains to my Easter trip home. Which makes it all official and makes me really happy....I'm excited to see how today plays out.
---------------
That was all written before 1pm today. Here is the rest of the post
----------------
1:37pm....Musings
1. My lunch was so painfully lackluster that I'm going to have to ask myself out on a date, do a scandalous amount of flirting, and show some leg all while ingesting a tear-inducingly amazing, Amen and Hallelujah-esque dinner to make up for it.
2. LC is really quite stressed about the way the government shutdown is being handled. Moments like this makes the distance 10 times harder. I can do absolutely nothing to ease his frustration. Reading "I understand" via gchat/text can't be very comforting. I hate feeling like a bystander in my relationship with things get hard.
3. When I was younger my mom had the definitive answer to everything. Hell, last week she had the answer to everything. Closing out my twenties I'm in awe of how wrong I can be and how little I know. It's a wonder I'm still standing.
4. The thing about today is I didn't come to work to actually do any work. The problem is I said the same thing Wednesday and Thursday.
5. I'm finally going to get my taxes done today. All budget decisions, bill payments, etc. are on hold until I come out of the meeting. With five w-2's, a mid-year relocation and the introduction of state taxes to my life, I have no idea how this will go.
6. Boogie had a great quote today: "Tired of doing the same thing and getting inconsistent results." I think I'm going to title that the twentysomethings mantra.
Three more hours to go......
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Substance
I was listening to the radio this morning and heard a contest linked to the new Toni Braxton reality show. The contest was called "Live like a Braxton" and if you won, you were given monetary prizes.
Wouldn't the Braxtons like to live like a Braxton? Hasn't Toni Braxton filed for bankruptcy numerous times? I'm not judging, I'm genuinely asking. What are we perpetuating? "Live above your means until the government comes knocking on your door for back taxes?"
That's a game I can live without.
For me, one the hardest part about adulthood is just being honest. Overextending myself and/or shading the truth feels great, until I can no longer support it. Having a brand new bag, but no lunch money? It gets old. Quickly.
For me the journey of adulthood has been about substance.
I won't make this post about reality tv shows and unrealistic tokens of the rich life, with little signs of effort, taxable income, ownership, or true wealth. But lets be honest sometimes you see those things and you want them.
But where is the substance?
If reality TV shows aren't your thing, look at your own reality. Ever spend too much time on someone's FB page and start to question your own life? Ever run into the girlfriend with the diamond, stroller, perfect hair and outfit and feel a pang of envy? Ever run into a classmate who you know underperformed and they tell you about the job that nets more for them by lunch then you stand to make all day?
What did it take for them to get those things?
Wanting to better yourself is not the same as wanting to be someone else. Live like a Braxton? I'll pass, clearly I've got a better shot just trying to be a better Dani. I'm working on the substance first and the glamorous things will come (and I'll own them).
Wouldn't the Braxtons like to live like a Braxton? Hasn't Toni Braxton filed for bankruptcy numerous times? I'm not judging, I'm genuinely asking. What are we perpetuating? "Live above your means until the government comes knocking on your door for back taxes?"
That's a game I can live without.
For me, one the hardest part about adulthood is just being honest. Overextending myself and/or shading the truth feels great, until I can no longer support it. Having a brand new bag, but no lunch money? It gets old. Quickly.
For me the journey of adulthood has been about substance.
I won't make this post about reality tv shows and unrealistic tokens of the rich life, with little signs of effort, taxable income, ownership, or true wealth. But lets be honest sometimes you see those things and you want them.
But where is the substance?
If reality TV shows aren't your thing, look at your own reality. Ever spend too much time on someone's FB page and start to question your own life? Ever run into the girlfriend with the diamond, stroller, perfect hair and outfit and feel a pang of envy? Ever run into a classmate who you know underperformed and they tell you about the job that nets more for them by lunch then you stand to make all day?
What did it take for them to get those things?
Wanting to better yourself is not the same as wanting to be someone else. Live like a Braxton? I'll pass, clearly I've got a better shot just trying to be a better Dani. I'm working on the substance first and the glamorous things will come (and I'll own them).
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Musings
1. Do parents of unattractive children know that their kids are unattractive?
2. I did some volunteer work at Jumpstart yesterday and it reminded A) how much I adore working on materials for kids and B) how scary it is to get parenthood wrong (kids who are are under stimulated and underdeveloped in vocabulary start school with such a disadvantage and once they start behind statistics show that they tend to stay behind)
3. I love this cooler Spring that is going on in New York. Light jacket weather is officially my favorite thing. Reason being? Tights are still wearable which helps to keep the wobbly bits in place, meanwhile you get to throw your entire spring wardrobe over them and pair everything with boots, booties, open toed booties, cute flats...its wonderful.
4. If I end up not moving in the foreseeable future the things that I've decided to buy are as follows: a mop, skillet, table, hand mixer and a larger tv (tuck that judgement away).
5. Every night I start my phone conversations with LC by suggesting a baby name for the child that is several years out. Every night he vetoes the name. Every night. I'm glad I've started this process early.
6. Speaking of LC, last night we were talking about subjects that we didn't excel in and I said that I wasn't particularly good at: Math, History, Science, Geography, and English (the rules and fundamentals)...his pause was priceless. I have no idea how I made it through school and with good grades.
7. I am obsessed with the West Wing....still.
8. I just discovered White Castle's chicken rings. The game has officially changed.
9. I'm excited about heading home for a week. Wheels up in 16 days.
10. Life feels good today. Here's hoping I don't have a post refuting that in a couple of hours.
2. I did some volunteer work at Jumpstart yesterday and it reminded A) how much I adore working on materials for kids and B) how scary it is to get parenthood wrong (kids who are are under stimulated and underdeveloped in vocabulary start school with such a disadvantage and once they start behind statistics show that they tend to stay behind)
3. I love this cooler Spring that is going on in New York. Light jacket weather is officially my favorite thing. Reason being? Tights are still wearable which helps to keep the wobbly bits in place, meanwhile you get to throw your entire spring wardrobe over them and pair everything with boots, booties, open toed booties, cute flats...its wonderful.
4. If I end up not moving in the foreseeable future the things that I've decided to buy are as follows: a mop, skillet, table, hand mixer and a larger tv (tuck that judgement away).
5. Every night I start my phone conversations with LC by suggesting a baby name for the child that is several years out. Every night he vetoes the name. Every night. I'm glad I've started this process early.
6. Speaking of LC, last night we were talking about subjects that we didn't excel in and I said that I wasn't particularly good at: Math, History, Science, Geography, and English (the rules and fundamentals)...his pause was priceless. I have no idea how I made it through school and with good grades.
7. I am obsessed with the West Wing....still.
8. I just discovered White Castle's chicken rings. The game has officially changed.
9. I'm excited about heading home for a week. Wheels up in 16 days.
10. Life feels good today. Here's hoping I don't have a post refuting that in a couple of hours.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Seriously...Where have you been?
I haven't been blogging because I have far more questions than answers. The one question that I seem to be getting (and asking myself) more than anything else is where will I be come June?
The answer: I've got no clue
See, it makes for a very bland post. So I continue to blog in my head, until I have clear enough thoughts to get for a real post.
The answer: I've got no clue
See, it makes for a very bland post. So I continue to blog in my head, until I have clear enough thoughts to get for a real post.
Morning Joe
I used to watch Morning Joe regularly, until the host started to get uber combative before 7am. I just need to ease into my morning without the equivalent of a Ruff Ryders album resonating in my brain.
For some reason I decided to watch it this morning and he went in on the hypocrisy of President Obama's performance, especially as it relates to Gitmo.
(Pause)
Before I make my next statement....
if you didn't know what I used to do (when I used to do three jobs at once) let me just tell you that I used to the AM lead editor for a internet-based news organization. Meaning, for awhile, I lived and breathed domestic and international news from 4am-noon.
.....
I had no idea what Joe was talking about. After watching for a few minutes, I was able to catch on based on the pieces of news information that I acquire throughout the day either from LC's version of media waterboarding (watching the evening news) or walking past a CNN or NY1 screen throughout the day (I've always had an uncanny ability to piece together a story in 45 seconds and retain the information to use it for a bigger story down the line).
Even though I'm suffering from mind-blowing burnout (I should have been more firm about using the PTO I acquired) from my news job, I really have been doing a terrible job of following up on the President's policies. I don't follow the politics because I don't feel like I HAVE to....When he speaks, I don't have the constant desire to cancel cable or call whichever friend got the short end of the stick and rant about single-digit IQ scores and idiocy.
I don't follow the politics because I trust that despite the misteps that comes with doing a job you've never done, he's qualified enough to start undoing the craziness of the last president. Unless he creates a policy that bans 5'7" twentysomethings from chocolate milkshakes, he has and will have my support.
For some reason I decided to watch it this morning and he went in on the hypocrisy of President Obama's performance, especially as it relates to Gitmo.
(Pause)
Before I make my next statement....
if you didn't know what I used to do (when I used to do three jobs at once) let me just tell you that I used to the AM lead editor for a internet-based news organization. Meaning, for awhile, I lived and breathed domestic and international news from 4am-noon.
.....
I had no idea what Joe was talking about. After watching for a few minutes, I was able to catch on based on the pieces of news information that I acquire throughout the day either from LC's version of media waterboarding (watching the evening news) or walking past a CNN or NY1 screen throughout the day (I've always had an uncanny ability to piece together a story in 45 seconds and retain the information to use it for a bigger story down the line).
Even though I'm suffering from mind-blowing burnout (I should have been more firm about using the PTO I acquired) from my news job, I really have been doing a terrible job of following up on the President's policies. I don't follow the politics because I don't feel like I HAVE to....When he speaks, I don't have the constant desire to cancel cable or call whichever friend got the short end of the stick and rant about single-digit IQ scores and idiocy.
I don't follow the politics because I trust that despite the misteps that comes with doing a job you've never done, he's qualified enough to start undoing the craziness of the last president. Unless he creates a policy that bans 5'7" twentysomethings from chocolate milkshakes, he has and will have my support.
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