I feel like over the last two years I've taken a ridiculous amount of personal development days, staycations, vacations, and general 'log out' moments. Yet, I can't shake the tiredness and constant feeling that I need a vacation. My initial thought was that my laziness was trying to rear it's ugly head. However, it may be more than that. I think that the constant budget concerns and the never being 100% "unplugged" has created a situation in which I haven't completely stepped away from everything, nor have I had the chance for some brutal self-evaluation.
Even with this realization, I don't think I'll be able to schedule some serious agenda-free R&R until 2010. However, that is the newest thing on my to-do list. The plan will also be to have different circumstances waiting for me when I get back.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Who Me?
A woman at church asked about my sister on Sunday(forever ago)....
Woman: "How is she doing?"
Me: "She's great, still in the O, pursuing her MBA."
Woman: "Oh that's fantastic! What have you been up to?"
Me: "Managing my division and trying to stay challenged."
Woman: "I'm sure your mom is glad to have you in town. There is always one child that likes to stay close to home."
Me: (sputter)
Who me?????? Aww hell naw. I'm the child that loves to travel and hates being at home. The girl that says yes at every opportunity to take a trip. The girl that has always jumped out in the proverbial "street" and thought about whether or not there was a "car" coming later. Madam, clearly you are mistaken! Clearly, you've gotten your wires crossed. I only came home after graduation because I didn't have a job and I promised myself I'd leave once my opportunites 'dried up.' Yea, that was 4+ years ago, but that doesnt mea...
Sh*t!
Why in the hell am I still here? What could it be?
Hmm........
Woman: "How is she doing?"
Me: "She's great, still in the O, pursuing her MBA."
Woman: "Oh that's fantastic! What have you been up to?"
Me: "Managing my division and trying to stay challenged."
Woman: "I'm sure your mom is glad to have you in town. There is always one child that likes to stay close to home."
Me: (sputter)
Who me?????? Aww hell naw. I'm the child that loves to travel and hates being at home. The girl that says yes at every opportunity to take a trip. The girl that has always jumped out in the proverbial "street" and thought about whether or not there was a "car" coming later. Madam, clearly you are mistaken! Clearly, you've gotten your wires crossed. I only came home after graduation because I didn't have a job and I promised myself I'd leave once my opportunites 'dried up.' Yea, that was 4+ years ago, but that doesnt mea...
Sh*t!
Why in the hell am I still here? What could it be?
Hmm........
Ublogable Topics
Every once in awhile you come across something close to your heart that you want to blog about, but it's either too selfish, tacky, hurtful, hateful, honest, funny, etc. to be blogged about. I have to find a workaround.
For some reason I've been slammed with these types of topics non-stop for the last month.....(sigh)
For some reason I've been slammed with these types of topics non-stop for the last month.....(sigh)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Pillows Not Fists....Just My Opinion
Fighting fair seems to be the mantra of relationship "experts" throughout the country.
1. Try not to rehash old details from "forgiven/forgotten" arguments
2. Don't hit below the belt (figuratively & literally)
3. Don't be passive-aggressive and fight about irrelevant subject matters, instead of facing "the real issues"
Blah Blah Blah....fighting is not a "fair" practice. Hell, rarely are "relationships" and "fair" in the same sentence. So how does one "fight fair"? You don't. Stop being focused on fairness and focus on winning. Seems crazy? It's not.
For instance, if your fight starts because your boyfriend isn't spending enough time with you, don't waste your energy playing mind games with him....figure out what YOUR ultimate goal is....
1. Do you want him to spend more time with you?
2. Do you feel like communication is the issue?3. Do you just need more attention overall?
4. Do you dislike feeling like an afterthought?5. Are you looking for a reason to leave him anyway and he's not making it easy enough?
Whatever the goal is, structure your fight not to be heard, but to win.
Over the weekend Sweets and I had the most intense (and yet shortest) fight I'd ever experienced. I will not purport that we are even slightly more mature/enlightened than the average couple. We just honestly didn't have time for the full out argument, "salty" feelings, untrue statements of forgiveness, obligatory gabfest with the respective friends about how much we can't really stand when the other person does _________, etc.
I could tell something was wrong and we started to get into the usual routine of one person asking questions, while the other person lies with "salty" answers.
Looking at the time, I realized the way this would end. We would not accomplish anything immediately, go through the day with an unresolved issue, ruin one day of vacation, eventually solve the issue, and then regret (one week later) that we hadn't resolved it sooner.
Looking at the time, I realized the way this would end. We would not accomplish anything immediately, go through the day with an unresolved issue, ruin one day of vacation, eventually solve the issue, and then regret (one week later) that we hadn't resolved it sooner.
Pause...I don't even know what the fight is about...but I want to win it. For me the "win" in that instance was to be over it. For him a "win" was to get to the bottom of what he had overheard me saying.
So I pulled an uncharacteristically Dani move and without a drop of coy or decorum attacked Sweets until I got an answer to what was amiss. Now, having taken a big girl pill and questioned him head on, I had to be completely willing to handle the rest of the argument the same way. So when he asked me to clarify what I had said in passing, I did. There was definitely room for me to fly off the handle abt why he was asking me questions and go around in circles, but....I wanted to win.
So we talked....in an open/honest/unvarnished format. Before I knew it the fight was over.
Is focusing on "winning" a "fair" way to deal with relationship quarrels, probably not, but then again I suppose you'd need to ask someone who is in one. Our fight is over. Guess who won? We both did.
So we talked....in an open/honest/unvarnished format. Before I knew it the fight was over.
Is focusing on "winning" a "fair" way to deal with relationship quarrels, probably not, but then again I suppose you'd need to ask someone who is in one. Our fight is over. Guess who won? We both did.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Overheard At The Salon
"I was just calling you back to tell you that I got your email...."
--I HATE PPL LIKE YOU!
"....the neighborhood is terrified that a mass murderer will kill them when they go outside."
--CNN covering this story....Don't act surprised now that your police force are 2 steps behind Paul Blart.....either stay inside or move....but get off my tv screen!
"The lady at the license place said a replacement license was $25....I said let me go home and look for my other one again."
--You are the reason fees go up...lazy!
"The Jamie Foxx show wasn't that crowded....If Beyonce can sell out the Bank Atlantic Center, why did Jamie Foxx think that he could do the same? He needed to be at the improv."
-Damn....Bank Atlantic Center 22, 457 seats...Hollywood Improv 460 seats.
(Conversation Between Stylists) "Ya-Ya can you pls go and pick up my daughter?" Ya-Ya: "I can't I have a client." T: "You know she'll be late anyway, just go get her." Ya-Ya: "I called my client and she's two minutes away." T: "Oh well ask her to go pick up my daughter for me."
--Do I even need to comment on this one?
--I HATE PPL LIKE YOU!
"....the neighborhood is terrified that a mass murderer will kill them when they go outside."
--CNN covering this story....Don't act surprised now that your police force are 2 steps behind Paul Blart.....either stay inside or move....but get off my tv screen!
"The lady at the license place said a replacement license was $25....I said let me go home and look for my other one again."
--You are the reason fees go up...lazy!
"The Jamie Foxx show wasn't that crowded....If Beyonce can sell out the Bank Atlantic Center, why did Jamie Foxx think that he could do the same? He needed to be at the improv."
-Damn....Bank Atlantic Center 22, 457 seats...Hollywood Improv 460 seats.
(Conversation Between Stylists) "Ya-Ya can you pls go and pick up my daughter?" Ya-Ya: "I can't I have a client." T: "You know she'll be late anyway, just go get her." Ya-Ya: "I called my client and she's two minutes away." T: "Oh well ask her to go pick up my daughter for me."
--Do I even need to comment on this one?
I Hate You...and your allowance!
So at the salon today I peered through my "Simba mane" to take a look at a high-school chick that was also getting her hair done.
Her pedicure was fresh and her hair had an "instant-wrap" essence (a-la Soon to be Mrs. Patti in her relaxer days) that could only have been attained through a faithful 2-week appointment schedule.
She was happy...with the worlds smallest purse...I'm assuming she had a driver's license, debit card, lip gloss, and a cell phone.
She looked like the only thing she knew of "bills" was that it was 1/3 of the title of an "old school"(to her) Destiny's Child song. There was a cherubic glow about her that comes with being unfamiliar with overdraft fees and ramen noodles.
Her bank account was mommy-funded and daddy-approved. She was young and well-maintained and I hated her for it. I should be more of an adult than I am, but I can't deal. I'm at my first hair appointment in months. I've (gasp--never thought it would come to this) started to do my own pedicures, I went an entire summer without a french manicure (yes even in '09 sometimes I like a throwback look).
Effectively, I tapped into my inner recessionista once my bank account tapped out.
I cannot believe that I looked forward to adulthood! A few people on twitter reminded me why I thought things would be different. They pointed to my love of shows like "Living Single", "SATC", "Girlfriends", and "Friends." Now when I watch those shows I realize that the characters aren't in their 20's....they are in their early (mid & late) 30's. I just hope that with the rapidly approaching 3-0 I will have more financial security and room for the kind of fun that requires a sitcom laughing track.
In the meantime....hey little girl....give me your damn allowance!
Her pedicure was fresh and her hair had an "instant-wrap" essence (a-la Soon to be Mrs. Patti in her relaxer days) that could only have been attained through a faithful 2-week appointment schedule.
She was happy...with the worlds smallest purse...I'm assuming she had a driver's license, debit card, lip gloss, and a cell phone.
She looked like the only thing she knew of "bills" was that it was 1/3 of the title of an "old school"(to her) Destiny's Child song. There was a cherubic glow about her that comes with being unfamiliar with overdraft fees and ramen noodles.
Her bank account was mommy-funded and daddy-approved. She was young and well-maintained and I hated her for it. I should be more of an adult than I am, but I can't deal. I'm at my first hair appointment in months. I've (gasp--never thought it would come to this) started to do my own pedicures, I went an entire summer without a french manicure (yes even in '09 sometimes I like a throwback look).
Effectively, I tapped into my inner recessionista once my bank account tapped out.
I cannot believe that I looked forward to adulthood! A few people on twitter reminded me why I thought things would be different. They pointed to my love of shows like "Living Single", "SATC", "Girlfriends", and "Friends." Now when I watch those shows I realize that the characters aren't in their 20's....they are in their early (mid & late) 30's. I just hope that with the rapidly approaching 3-0 I will have more financial security and room for the kind of fun that requires a sitcom laughing track.
In the meantime....hey little girl....give me your damn allowance!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Not It....
Today is not a good day. I can't quite put my finger on why, I just know that it's not. Using 'Love Jones' to get through the afternoon. Hopefully I'll have a better post tomorrow.
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