There are a lot of things that I've been accused of....the one thing that often sticks with me is my inability to separate my work/financial situation from my personal life. No, I'm not dating....wait...yes I am dating a co-worker, but that's not what I mean. The accusation is that whenever there are hard times at work/with the finances, I take it out on my relationship (read: significant other).
I wish that accusation was without merit, but the more frustrated I get with work, money, life...the more frustrated and impatient I get with my personal life. Start asking questions about things that are certain, start feeling inadequacies--which I don't admit to anywhere but in the blogosphere, etc. I feel bad for feeling bad and then feel bad for making him feel bad, which makes me feel even worse.
I'm effectively driving myself crazy and subsequently driving Sweets crazy. Crash course in Dani-ism I suppose.....buckle up....the ride has just begun.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Madam
First Name: Camel
Last Name: Toe
Madam,
I am displeased to make the acquaintance of your friend Mr. Camel Toe. Just as men tend to wince whenever they witness a "junk punch," I too am unable to sit comfortably at the moment due to the current location of your bike shorts and labium.
I have a few questions for you:
1. When you blink do you feel lycra in/around your eyelids?
2. If you leave fruit wrapped up in the heat it goes bad....has that happened to you/your "parts"?
3. do you think that when ppl stop and pull out their camera phone that you are doing something right?
I understand you were going to the gym and you wanted something comfortable and form fitting. I know what it is like to want the impossible. I go to the gym daily and want to stand next to a machine and have pounds fall off--not going to happen---and I accept that. I do, however, want you to accept that perspiration + friction = increased likelihood of a clothing shift.
I'm sure that you are a good person deep down. Having gotten to know you instantly and intimately, it appears as though you have a high regard for maintenance and I can only assume that transitions into your daily life. Since we are past the point of you pulling your shorts down (and I don't think there is a hook strong enough or a stick long enough---(lol---"stick"---I digress)--to help with the process), I'd like you to follow a few steps.
1. Put on underwear
2. Torch anything that resembles 'bike shorts'
3. Apologize to your...."area"....it's hurting...trust me
I'm really glad we had this chat.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
Last Name: Toe
Madam,
I am displeased to make the acquaintance of your friend Mr. Camel Toe. Just as men tend to wince whenever they witness a "junk punch," I too am unable to sit comfortably at the moment due to the current location of your bike shorts and labium.
I have a few questions for you:
1. When you blink do you feel lycra in/around your eyelids?
2. If you leave fruit wrapped up in the heat it goes bad....has that happened to you/your "parts"?
3. do you think that when ppl stop and pull out their camera phone that you are doing something right?
I understand you were going to the gym and you wanted something comfortable and form fitting. I know what it is like to want the impossible. I go to the gym daily and want to stand next to a machine and have pounds fall off--not going to happen---and I accept that. I do, however, want you to accept that perspiration + friction = increased likelihood of a clothing shift.
I'm sure that you are a good person deep down. Having gotten to know you instantly and intimately, it appears as though you have a high regard for maintenance and I can only assume that transitions into your daily life. Since we are past the point of you pulling your shorts down (and I don't think there is a hook strong enough or a stick long enough---(lol---"stick"---I digress)--to help with the process), I'd like you to follow a few steps.
1. Put on underwear
2. Torch anything that resembles 'bike shorts'
3. Apologize to your...."area"....it's hurting...trust me
I'm really glad we had this chat.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
My Plans Do Not Include You.....
work |wərk|
noun
1 activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result : he was tired after a day's work in the fields. See note at labor .
• ( works) [in combination ] a place or premises for industrial activity, typically manufacturing : he found a job in the ironworks.
2 such activity as a means of earning income; employment : I'm still looking for work.
volunteer |ˌvälənˈtir|
noun
a person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task.
• a person who works for an organization without being paid.
volunteerism |ˌvälənˈti(ə)rˌizəm|
noun
the use or involvement of volunteer labor, esp. in community services.
Recently, my boss asked me what I had set up for my team to accomplish over the next six months. I wasn't sure if I was more upset that I was getting this question 5 min before my shift started, or if I was more upset that payroll checks were one month behind and I was being asked about tasks 6 months down the line.
Working for a small company that has had more than its share of financial "bumps" in the road, I know that sometimes things don't go according to plan when it comes to payroll. The benefit to the company is that there is virtually no bureaucracy. More importantly the flexibility of telecommuting is fantastic. Maybe I should rephrase that to "was fantastic."
I've realized that I'm getting older--no sob stories here--but realistically 25+2 is staring at and is one short month away. I've got goals, dreams, debauchery that I'd like to accomplish before mini-me's enter the picture. It's time for me to stop wanting more and get it. Time for me to stop wishing for better and simply stop settling for worse.
The dialogue that I've been having in my mind has become a soliloquy titled: "It's time."
So I don't know what the team will be doing 6 months from now, but come "hell or high water" (thanks mom) it won't be my responsibility. I've gotten what I needed (that'll be the next post) and now its time to go.
noun
1 activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result : he was tired after a day's work in the fields. See note at labor .
• ( works) [in combination ] a place or premises for industrial activity, typically manufacturing : he found a job in the ironworks.
2 such activity as a means of earning income; employment : I'm still looking for work.
volunteer |ˌvälənˈtir|
noun
a person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task.
• a person who works for an organization without being paid.
volunteerism |ˌvälənˈti(ə)rˌizəm|
noun
the use or involvement of volunteer labor, esp. in community services.
Recently, my boss asked me what I had set up for my team to accomplish over the next six months. I wasn't sure if I was more upset that I was getting this question 5 min before my shift started, or if I was more upset that payroll checks were one month behind and I was being asked about tasks 6 months down the line.
Working for a small company that has had more than its share of financial "bumps" in the road, I know that sometimes things don't go according to plan when it comes to payroll. The benefit to the company is that there is virtually no bureaucracy. More importantly the flexibility of telecommuting is fantastic. Maybe I should rephrase that to "was fantastic."
I've realized that I'm getting older--no sob stories here--but realistically 25+2 is staring at and is one short month away. I've got goals, dreams, debauchery that I'd like to accomplish before mini-me's enter the picture. It's time for me to stop wanting more and get it. Time for me to stop wishing for better and simply stop settling for worse.
The dialogue that I've been having in my mind has become a soliloquy titled: "It's time."
So I don't know what the team will be doing 6 months from now, but come "hell or high water" (thanks mom) it won't be my responsibility. I've gotten what I needed (that'll be the next post) and now its time to go.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Writer's Block
There are things in my mind that I need to express, but I can't seem to get them down on the screen. They are coherent thoughts, but between my brain and my fingertips they dissipate into incoherent ramblings. My english teacher once told me, "write nonsense, until it starts to make sense." Even that hasn't yielded anything.
(sigh) I'll try this again later.
(sigh) I'll try this again later.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tired
The day after a trip is usually a tired one for me. However, it seems like my usual level of exhaustion has multiplied considerably. I have both cabin fever and the inability to get out of the bed....simultaneously.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Thoughts Of An Unrighteous Mind
1. I think my eyes are too small for my cheeks...Is that possible?
2. Why isn't there Hennessy flavored Pepsi...like Cherry-flavored coke?
3.Why is it that my eyes glaze over the roughness of my toes based on the amt. Of money in my acct?
4. I need to be a travel agent. I love to plan and by the time the trip comes around I don't even feel like going.
5. Do they even have travel agents anymore?
6. Valerie Pettiford is so underrated. Let me back up...Why did they cancel Half & Half?
7. Why will it cost me more to park my car @ the airport & check one bag roundtrip than I paid for the actual ticket?
8. Why is my alcohol tolerance dependent on my location?
9. Why is it that I haven't seen my friends since graduation(2004) but I don't feel like we have much to get caught up on because we chat every day on AIM?
10. Why do I lose everything that I place in my bag....regardless of the size/depth of the bag or the actual object?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
2. Why isn't there Hennessy flavored Pepsi...like Cherry-flavored coke?
3.Why is it that my eyes glaze over the roughness of my toes based on the amt. Of money in my acct?
4. I need to be a travel agent. I love to plan and by the time the trip comes around I don't even feel like going.
5. Do they even have travel agents anymore?
6. Valerie Pettiford is so underrated. Let me back up...Why did they cancel Half & Half?
7. Why will it cost me more to park my car @ the airport & check one bag roundtrip than I paid for the actual ticket?
8. Why is my alcohol tolerance dependent on my location?
9. Why is it that I haven't seen my friends since graduation(2004) but I don't feel like we have much to get caught up on because we chat every day on AIM?
10. Why do I lose everything that I place in my bag....regardless of the size/depth of the bag or the actual object?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
ATL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if "saying what you mean to say" is the name of the game and one should "name it and claim it," I'm continuing with the mantra that Sweets and I will be living in ATL sooner than later. We are so over PB county. In the meantime its time to get ready for a return trip.
Oh yea....right now....Bday Dinner is Sat night @ Strip....other details to follow later. Get ready!
Oh yea....right now....Bday Dinner is Sat night @ Strip....other details to follow later. Get ready!
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