I get caught up sometimes in the other people's "grass" and the shade of green "on the other side." There are times when just trying to get from point A to point B in my life takes 10 steps, when everyone else can do it in 2.
I reached a breaking point early last year and every single thing in my life that I thought was sure, solid, and important crumbled. I made peace with the ruins. I literally sat in the remnants of my mediocre life achievements, built on a sandy foundation and made peace with that being the best that I was going to get.
I was content with the fact that things would always just be harder. I was content with the fact that I would always just be happy with what was in front of me.
All I could think of was my mom saying: "you always get to great and stop short." I finally got to a point where I asked myself: "is good really that bad?"
Then everything changed.
No disrespect to anyone or anything in my past (I needed every single thing to be able to appreciate my present), but let me be clear...Settling for good, when you can have great will not bring you happiness. You'll always want more. You'll always feel like you deserve more.
I hit the one year mark of my move recently and I'm still on cloud 9. There is, however, something that I'm more proud of and that I want to mention.
Today, I want to thank the friend who was honest enough, a few years ago, to hurt my feelings and tell me that I was better than my reality. I'd like to thank him for saying the same thing again a few years later, which again hurt my feelings. Basically, I'd like to thank him for over ten years of friendship and for always pushing me when I couldn't push myself.
Most importantly, I'd like to thank him for showing me that things don't always have to be difficult for me, that there is a lovely shade of green on both sides, and that "great" takes time, but will always surpass "good."
LC...AG..Ansel, the last year with you has been amazing. Thank you & I truly love you.
P.S. I promised a reader that I would explain why I call today our noniversary. I told Ansel 11 months ago that I was tired of celebrating temporary milestones as I had done in previous relationships. He said he felt the same way. So... until we make this permanent, I consider it a noniversary. :)
3 comments:
Thank you beautiful, for all that you have you taught me about myself and what it means to find "that one special person." I can't begin to explain how much your presence in my life has molded me as a man. For ten years, you have been the measuring stick for all of the people in my life. To know that I no longer have to compare others to you, but instead, work to build something remarkable with you, is incomprehensible. Everyday I wake up thankful that you are by side in our journey. I look forward to the many years to come. While I can't promise to always make you happy I can promise that I will not stop trying to. I love you Danielle!
Always yours,
Ansel
P.S. You shouldn't have made me wait ten years.
*tear* on so many levels!
i have to thank you too, AG! your words to Dani became her words to me! we are bigger than our circumstances, and once we know and OWN that, IT'S ON!
Beautiful, thank you for giving us an insight to your mind, your life and your love. I wish you all the happiness.
http://mizzentice.blogspot.com
Post a Comment