Battle Of One

I do not lose well.

I always think I'm right, even if I say "I may be wrong, but..."

Knowing those two things, I try my damndest to avoid arguments at all costs. The number of fights that I've had are nominal and all in all I try to avoid the whole negative process.

99.9% of the time I'll walk away from an argument. Why? Because I don't argue casually or for fun. We may be laughing on the outside, but I'm not laughing on the inside. I take it personally. The argument will offend. Things will end badly. So I walk away or offer up an "ok" and change topics. It's not ok. Trust me.

But why? Why am I like that?

Because I don't have a middle ground. It's taken me years to realize that the space between fun Dani and firestarter Dani is almost non-existent. I don't know my triggers and quite frankly I don't want to find out.

It's not that I won't fight for things that I'm passionate about, its that once the fight starts it will take over. Some people can learn from their fights. I learn by walking away and revisiting the topic once my emotions have subsided.

ok? ok.