I woke up this morning, made coffee and sat in my sparsely decorated living room and felt like the richest girl in the world.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. This morning, I'm just thinking about right now.

I'm glad to be in this place, at this moment, in this time.

It's not perfect, but it's all mine.

Technicolor

For some reason when I'm at LC's place I dream in technicolor. Hell, I think I dream in Imax. Either way, my dreams have plots, characters, suspense, a hidden ending after the credits and a score.....the whole deal.

I wake up rested, but two hours later I'm exhausted. I'm not sure why this only happens at his house, but I wish it would stop.

I just want the type of sleep that is so good to me that I forget to dream. Yea....that would be great right now.

Happy Birthday

Dear God,

Thank you for blessing me with a new day and the completion of another year. Thank you for showing me that what you can do is bigger than what I can dream. Thank you for the closing windows and opening doors. Thank you for my continued struggles. While I don't like them, I realize that they bring me closer to you and your work.

Forgive my missteps and allow me to be the blessing to those around me (in body and spirit) that they are to me. Thank you for my angels.

Amen

Look Back, Look Forward

I decided to see what I had to say a year ago today.....

My how things change. Since last birthday I'm down to one job, have a new beau, and am living in a new city. I guess it's time to really think about what I want to accomplish @ 28.

Mind: Take (and finish) a class....any class....but start fresh and learn something new.
Body: Less of it...'nuf said.
Soul: Commit to prayer/blessings journal EVERY DAY. Start a vision board.
Work: Start learning more in my current position, or finding one that keeps me on my toes.
Love: Stop waiting for the "bottom to fall out."
Travel: JAMAICA, Toronto, Seattle, Vancouver & at least one trip with my brother & sister
Adventure: At least one theme park, white-water rafting(it's been too long)

Different Light

My stint as my sister's Maid of Honor is dwindling. At the time of this post, the wedding will be about 25 days away. Last weekend was her shower/bachelorette party which was an absolute blast.

I experienced deja vu of sorts watching Ash and the ladies interact at her shower, watching her interact with her hubs-to-be, and seeing how their lives are unfolding in the days leading up to the wedding. The events I saw this weekend are almost a mirror image of what I saw a year ago as Podmate Davis prepared to become Podmate Davis-Smith.

It's an amazing thing to see the transition and the growth from dating life/reality to married life/reality.

Transient

I wish I could feel settled. Since May 23, 2000 I have always felt like I'm on borrowed time in one location or another. I moved for undergrad, but knew that without fail every summer I would have to pack up my wares, put them in storage, go back to South Florida for three months, return to DC, unpack and do it all over again.

After graduation in 2004, I didn't have a plan (read: job) so I moved back home for what was supposed to be six months. It ended up being six years. You would think in that time I would've felt settled. Truth be told. I never unpacked. Most of my undergrad boxes remained packed and in storage until May 2010 when I moved to New York. The entire time that I was back in South Florida I felt/hoped/wished/prayed that I was only there temporarily.

My last 4+ months here have been a whirlwind of trips between FL, DC, and NY. I love to travel and it's the type of crazy that makes me smile. However, flying from South Florida back to New York yesterday felt bittersweet. I was excited to get to my bed and my familiar (yet new world), but there was still an undercurrent feeling of impermanence. Yes, I haven't been here long, but I guess what I'm getting at is I'm not sure if this move will be long-term(ie. more than a year).

I guess I have to see what the next year brings and what my next step will be, but I'm realizing more and more that I need to figure out my base. As podmate would say, I need to put down roots.

Ideally, I want a job and a life that involves travel and variety, but in order to do that and maintain a semblance of sanity I have to also have a constant. I'm ready to unpack.

Whew!

Hotel Room: Trashed
Press: Ruined
Eyes: Bloodshot
Bride: unconscious but fully dressed
Other Maids: in the hot tub
MOH: on the other side

I can breathe a sigh of relief....this weekend went well and I just need to get my sis down the aisle and say something touching @ the reception and I'm done.

In the interim......I can finally get really excited about my birthday on Thursday. It feels great to be on the other side of the stress.

Whew!